My car farts more than me.

I fart more than any human being that I know. About a year and a half ago, myself and my wife decided to switch to a whole-foods-plant-based diet after reading a very convincing book with a lot of convincing facts. Overall I feel great and I have no plans of reverting to my old dietary patterns, but one unexpected side-effect is that I now pass gas like it is my full-time job. I'm not sure if it is the increase in beans or fruit or fibre or all of the above, but I can tell you that I have become a veritable fart-factory since making this dietary change.

The troubling part of this entire situation is that my wife doesn't appear to have been affected to the same extent as myself. She has not similarly turned into a fart-factory. Just me... Just me.

So far, I have manage to stay strong and stick to this most healthsome of lifestyle changes by telling myself that although I might now fart more than anyone I know, I still fart less than my beloved automobile. That precious combination of metal and gas and pistons brings the concept of "fart-factory" to a whole other level that my body is simply not capable of replicating. My level of emissions are definitely still below that of my car. And as long as I have that, I am ok.