Absent Engagement : Chapter 1
Some days it’s fine. Go to work, and do my job. Maybe work outside the confined walls of our
department. Change into joggers, pack up, leave and walk outside. I typically jog straight home but being its early and I have time to kill, I will take the long way home. I see a motley crew of kids. Some
will leave and I’ll know nothing of. A few I will come to know very well. I round the corner and I greet
eyes with a young lady down the street. She reminds me of my lover at home so I attempt to speed past
but am stopped before I can escape her sight.
“Do I know you?” She asks.
“No. don’t think so.” I stop and take a moment to breath.
“Are you sure we haven’t met before, like at a bar?”
“I don’t drink, its bad for the liver, I gotta go.” I turn to walk away but she grabs my hand.
“Just tell me your name, so if I see you again you’ll know its me. I’m Jessica.”
She lets go of my wrist and reaches for her pocket. She pulls out a phone and hands it to me, as
if I was going to give her my number.
“look, I appreciate the gesture, but I have a fiancée at home and she needs me.”
As I take off running home and she yells a profanity into the wind and I come to realize how she
knows me.
<><><>
The start of a new job lead me to tag along with a new co-worker and going in for a domestic
violence dispute. The woman was beaten to a pulp. All but blood dripping from the mans hand, but she
still would not press charges.
“No! You can’t do this!” she cried out.
“Ma’am, calm down.”
She cried and screamed as we drug her jackhole of a boyfriend in to the back of our car.
<><><>
I debated turning around to tell her how she knew me, but decided to spare her the
embarrassment. I reach the front door of my house and am greeted with the beautiful face of my soon
to be wife.
“Welcome home Fabs.” she says, reaching out to give me a hug once I close the door. Her
beautiful blue eyes sending a wave of relief as soon as I see them “How was work?”
“Same old, same old.”
I go to hug her once more, but she playfully pushes me away
“Go take a shower, you are not eating dinner smelling like that.” I walk off and we laugh as she pats me twice on the back.
And yes, that was a good day. But on others, it wasn’t so simple. Staying at work to ungodly hours of the night, loosing sleep and my sanity as I flip from file to file, page to page. One piece of
evidence to another, trying to fit a corner piece in the middle of a puzzle.
“Mr. Locher?” A voice comes from behind me. It’s Mike.
“Please, call me Fabian.”
“Yes Mr- er Fabian.” His voice shaky. He is a new employee talking to a much higher-up. “I
know it’s not my place to- tell you what to do, but you’ve been here for quite a while and - don’t take
this the wrong way - but you don’t look to good. I think you should go home.”
“That might be a good idea.” I groggily walk to the bathroom. The door that typically doesn’t bother me slams and I am momentarily jolted awake.
I see myself in the bathroom mirror and I hardly recognize the shell of a being that I used to be. My once brushed and groomed hair is now sticking out in all different directions. Bags are forming
under my eyes so much it appears as if I haven’t tasted the sweet relief of sleep in weeks. The assumption would be correct. And although I shaved this morning, the stress I’ve put myself through
has caused a light layer of scruff to form. I splash water on to my face and exit the bathroom.
Mike hands me my coat and I thank him for the kind gesture.
“Get some sleep.” he says as I pick up my bag.
“lord knows I try.” We both chuckle. “See ya later.” I push the door open with my back and do a
two fingered salute.
He returns the gesture and the door closes behind me with one loud bang.
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