Journal From a Submariner XIII

DATE 09SEP10, TIME 1052
Time is a crazy thing. I have not written in a little over 24 hours, but it feels like it has been days.
I took my second-class exam this morning. I have no idea how I did, I haven’t been in radio in 10 months, who knows if anything is right.
Now that I talked to the command about how I was feeling about you hanging out with Tygett and Pearson, I feel selfish, and immature because I honestly have no idea what is going on up there. That is what freaks me out the most. Unknowing.
You are probably being perfectly fine; it’s just that THE OCEAN FUCKS WITH YOUR MIND. The thing that I don’t understand, Pearson went home because his wife was hanging out with some guy, yet he does the same thing to me knowing full well how it feels. Not just that, it happened while we were in Guam, so he could talk to his wife. I get one email to know what’s going on, and I still have no idea.
It’s hard to smile these days; it’s more of a show just so people don’t know what I’m going through mentally. In another 15 days or so, whenever we pull-in, I will find out everything and be able to make a determination of how crazy I actually am.
I have been having a lot of dreams lately. I can remember them to. The other night I dreamt Robert and I were driving around in a soapbox car, and we went to this house. It was a huge family, like the family from “She’s Out of my League”, but they had a bunch of Filipino sex slaves. Robert starts having sex with one, and one of the chicks is trying to charge me 50 bucks to fuck, “What the...No, get the hell out of here.” Then the family leaves for some vacation, and the whole time Robert is saying, “Dude this feels weird, they did something.” We get into the car, we’re coming to see you, and the car starts falling apart. Robert starts freaking out, “I fucking knew it. Those motherfuckers fucked with the car.” Then we start walking to your house, but I get woken up for first wake-ups, and the dream ends.
Weird, huh? I don’t know what it means, I’m sure you’ll look it up when you read this.
Love you, forever and always, love babe.