Journal From a Submariner XIV

DATE 13SEP10, TIME 2346
What would I do if anything happened to you? Better question, what could I do? I couldn’t do anything, another down side to being on a submarine. If you were injured I couldn’t be there to help you, if you were killed I might not make it back in time for your funeral. Why must this place keep us from those we love, why must the world be at war?
I decided not to read the bible if I hadn’t already told you. I read the first part of it and realized it wasn’t for me. That book is the reason why I’m here, well in a very obscure way. Every country thinks their religion is correct, but who’s to say what’s right and what’s false in a book of fiction. Who really knows if all that shit happened?
Back to the second question, what could I do? I don’t know what I would do. I would have to stay down here for another two weeks knowing you were hurt laid up in a bed somewhere, me not there to care for you. I need to stop thinking of that because it truly scares me; I sometimes lay in my rack for hours thinking of that. I then get very scared and start breathing heavy because honestly I am helpless down here. I am stuck on a sewer pipe in the middle of the ocean.
This place is so unhealthy. We live on a long black shit pipe, with a nuclear reactor 40 feet from our racks. The only thing separating us from it is a tank filled with fuel. There are things in every space that could create a fire. We produce hydrogen on a daily basis. We wake up eat; sit on watch for 6 hours while the food just sits in our stomachs. We get off watch, eat, then go back and sit in one spot cleaning for 2 hours while the food sits in our stomachs. Then we go to sleep sometimes working out, but honestly how much of this crap food can you can work off in 30 min. All the while we are breathing fake air. What the fuck, whose brilliant idea was this?
Love you, forever and always, love babe.