Writings Salad ~ how a writer writes herself daily back to sanity

Sometimes, when I look in the mirror, I see effects of the fatal mistake of believing something or someone outside of my heart, believing something of the world. Something like a bad cup of coffee, a traffic jam, moody weather that lasts longer than the spread of its romantic qualities; or someone telling me I am not worthy of a good life, someone who is scared or boastful, someone misbehaving, someone unkind.
There is no other remedy for this forgetfulness than seeking clarity of what I want. What I want is what I ask for. What I ask for makes the cosmos and life itself bigger and richer.
"Ask and it is given!"
So a real creator uses the outter worldy conditions to identify something that she feels it's missing from the picture and ask for it.
No reason to let what is missing upset me. The fun is in receiving.
So each day, I ask for something new and I receive what I asked for a while ago.
So, the only two daily questions "what would be wonderful?" and "what is wonderful?"
Start with "what is wonderful".
Today, the weather is wonderful. The second day of school morning in a big city. The grand piazza where mothers bring their babies to chase pigeons as a morning play routine. The beautiful summer dresses. The art galleries. The art school. The easy life. The learning of something new and exciting. The satisfying occupation of writing.
"What would be wonderful?"
Collaborators and assitants to help my work get visible and tangible on paper. Teachers to learn from more about art and music. People interested in my work. A new Massimo Dutti or Orsay outfit. Caring hair care. Kids doing their homework with great interest. Wonderful soulful heart inspired friends. Receiving some form of recognition, preferably pecuniary. Learning art. Working with art and music. Listening to music. Reading Rumi's poetry. Finding a space ...

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How wonderful can an occupation be? How satisfying?
How perfectly suited to my personality? How deeply transforming?

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Come, zest for life!
Come, inloveness!
Come, eyes for beauty!
Come, creator of new!
Come, peace of my heart!
Come, passion that changes!
Come, renewal of life!
Come, my beloved!
Come, glory of triumph!
Come, harder than diamond strenght!
Come, stronger than a mountain stability!
Come, power to move mountains!
Come, prosperous inspiration!

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"Chapter One

Captain Theo steps aboard his ship. It is a glorious day. The sky is a brilliant gem. The ocean, a sparkling jewel. All villagers of Sunnysea came to cher him. Their voices lift Captain's spirit even higher. Ladies hankerchiefs flutter like baby doves training for flight. It's been a long journey to this moment. It has been nothing but a bad dream hard to wake up from.
"Here, mate! Stay!"
Brown quatruped swished his feet on the hardwood deck, swaying his tail before sitting by Captain Theo's left leg. It was a dog of undistingushable breed, appearing mostly to an irish terrier. His name was Leo, named after Theo's uncle, the man who taught Theo how to fight and stay alive. Leo looked up at Theo with admiration and loyalty, hiding his nose under Theo's hand.
In his other hand, Captain held a small crystal sphere.
There she is, in her peach silk dress, wearing her turquoise amulet, descending the stairs to the beach, ... "

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Think of myself as an ever blooming lotus flower.
I start as a small dot. A seed. A thought.
Attention or Love is being poured in me from inside.
Don't ask by Whom!
That is a secret.
Circles start growing out of me.
These are my six petals of virtue:
Beauty, Kindness, Truthfulness,
Courage, Calm, Wisdom.
I am Life's flower.
Each petal grows
and births six new petals.
I am forever blooming
Forever ancient and new.

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I cannot postpone my happiness any longer. I should not. And yet, I do. I barely have some time to write something. I am running around fulfilling other people's needs and desires. Oh, how I wish I could stop doing that. But I love serving people. I love serving God. But now there is this voice inside that says "Stop. You've done enough serving people. Now it's time to receive your awards! Relax and do your thing. Be prepared."

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Quick, quick, finish posting this. Kids should be back from school any minute now ... It's parents school meeting today at five pm.

Copyright Andreea Garden 2016