I somehow believe that if I allow myself to be really happy, something bad will happen. So I dim my light and sit comfortably in my uncomfortable zone, on a rug made out of a never-ending pattern of defeats.

You are aware!!! and as I can see you knowingly choose to suffer...you knowingly choose to be "the fearful you" instead of being the "fearless You". Because of the beliefs "It's too good to be true" and "I'm not good enough" you don't trust in happiness....you trust more in the lack of it, your focus is more in "I don't have and if I'll have I'll lose for sure" Only You have the power to "change" to let go "the fearful you" and to be again the fearless You...no one in the outside world.
Meanwhile, as I can see from your post You are not afraid telling people "I’ve got fears, they’re multiplying"...and this is a good beginning.
And Yes this is a "cliché"...not of your writing but of humanity...losing their power in exchange for fear...loosing trust in themselves and waiting for the 'rescuer grandma' and waiting/searching and being in need for 'the rescuer'.
Don't be afraid to be fearless again!!!!
much love!