GIRLS HATE WRESTLING [020 | TLC 2017 + FOLLOW UP SHOWS]

     Girls Hate Wrestling is a blog run by a girl, who in fact,  LOVES pro-wrestling. This was originally an idea for a youtube series  with my  best friend, but that never happened. Now it's a blog of me  channeling my love of a testosterone fueled soap opera of greased up    men  in underwear battling to lay on top of each  other for 3   seconds... sometimes for a belt.

[DING DING DING]

     I know this is a week late, and it's going to be quick, and not super in depth overall with the matches. I have my reasons. One mainly being, the closer it got to the ppv, the less excited I was for it and so much disappointment set in. Seriously WWE, ONE actual match involving tables ladders or chairs on your TLC ppv. Fuck you. Then on Friday night, Roman Reigns and Bray Wyatt were pulled from the card for a viral infection. So The Shield reunion didn't happen as planned and Roman was replaced with Kurt Angle in his first in-ring match in over ten years... We did however, get AJ Styles from Smackdown replacing Bray against The Demon Finn Balor. EPIC. MATCH OF THE FUCKING YEAR. They go way back they're Bullet Club and had never fought in a match. THIS WAS LITERALLY THE BEST DREAM MATCH. So, let's get to it.

3-on-5 Handicap TLC Match

Kurt Angle, Seth Rollins & Dean Ambrose def.  The Miz, Cesaro and Sheamus, Kane and Braun Strowman
    So this was our big main event TLC match. Things got weird. Clearly the Shield and Kurt do some damage in the beginning. Miz, Cesaro and Sheamus all down around the ring and The Shield work on taking the two big men down. Chairs and tables and ladder all into play very quickly. Seth and Dean go off some ladders taking out Braun and Kane on the announce tables. Kurt eventually gets nailed with a ladder and is taken to the back for most of the match leaving Dean and Seth in a 2 on 5. Dean takes a beating into a few tables that don't break - ouch!
   
 
    This match goes all over the arena and Miz calls in a garbage truck which is where my confusion starts in as they try to incapacitate Seth and Dean and get them in the truck. Like duuuudes, you gotta win by pinfall or submission in the ring. Brawling happens on the stage and ramp and off to the side. Kane and Braun keep bumping into each other and have some "monster-on-raw feed" going on between them that's clearly an issue in this match. Miz can't keep his team together. Kane ends up forgetting all about Seth and Dean for a bit and puts Braun through the floor next the the main announce table and them showers him with chairs suspended from the ceiling. Braun makes it back up and fights with Kane until his whole team puts him in the garbage truck and sends him away... now that made sense. Eventually Kurt comes back out to help his boys and then they win, of course. 

Singles Match

Jason Jordan def. Elias
    All night Elias came to the ring to sing his songs and would get cut off by Jason Jordan pelting him with produce from a shopping cart. It was super stupid. I didn't watch the match enough to tell you what happened. So have a nice picture of a suplex.

Singles Match

The Demon Finn Balor def. AJ Styles
    DREAM MATCH. MATCH OF THE YEAR. BEST MATCH OF THE PPV. I do not have words to explain how amazing this was to watch as someone who studies the art of pro-wrestling. These two guys had never faced off in a WWE ring, and never in a match like this over their 15 years of knowing each other.
    
They had a counter for every move the other had. It was so high-flying, high-impact, and precise. This was magical and a thing of beauty to witness. It was just back and forth, high risk, damaging chaos and OH MY GOD soooo BEAUTIFUL. If you've never watched wrestling, watch this match.
    
They were in the ring, out side the ring, stopping the ref's 10 count, smashing onto announce tables, throwing every signature and finishing move they had at one another. This was a damn good brawl and one of the most beautiful matches I've ever seen. Honestly. "Too Sweet."

Cruiserweight Championship

Enzo Amore def. Kalisto
    Enzo is kinda of super scummy right now and I kinda sorta love it. The Cruiserweights are struggling. Everyone knows that. Kalisto was given the belt and Enzo had a rematch clause. Being the scummy heel that he his, he was getting his ass beat most of the match.

So, our boy decided to use the apron to distract the ref for a minute to hit Kalisto with a thumb to the eye and win the championship back to become two time Cruiserweight Champ.

Raw Women's Championship

Alexa Bliss def. Mickie James
    I didn't care at all. This was a lot of weak punches to the head area and random whack-kicks. It was mostly hair and Mickie's pant-leg flare flying all around. They keep pushing Mickie's "I will be 7x women's champ" and nothing ever comes of it. I still hate Alexa. She kept her title.

Cruiserweight Tag Match

Cedric Alexander and Rich Swann def. Jack Gallagher and The Brian Kendrick
    Cedric an Rich are known buddies. Jack and Brian are a new duo and man, do I like those scummy dudes right now. Dirty heel tricks from Brian Kendrick are my favorite. This was a really good tag match though.

     There was quite a bit of action, and Jack and Brian had Rich in their grips for awhile then the pace changed completely. Brian locked in a Captain's hook on Cedric, but Rich hit a Phoenix Splash to break the submission on his partner to then duke it out with Jack allowing Cedric the chance to hit a NASTY Lumbar Check on Brian for the pin. Good wrestling, Crusierweights.

Singles Match

Asuka def. Emma
ASUKA RAW DEBUT. FUUUUCCCCKKKK YAAAAAAAS. I was surprised that this match was first on the card. Emma made this terrible. She can't really sell for shit and this didn't allow Asuka to look nearly as destructive and brutal.

Emma's only defense this entire match was to pull hair and throw Asuka around by handfuls of green and pink hair. Asuka on the other hand, laid down some damage with kicks, punches, the Asuka lock and some nasty suplexes. 

Kick-off Show

Sasha Banks def Alicia Fox
Have a picture. Did not watch. Could not. I hate Alicia Fox's "crazy gimmick. And her screeeeeching ass voice. She's like a bath salt addict. Fuck.


On Raw following TLC, Commissioner Shane McMahon of Smackdown Live, showed up to RAW... with most of the Smackdown Roster. He claimed Raw was "under siege" and sent his team to cause chaos and damage to the RAW roster. Needless to say, on Tuesday, Smackdown GM Daniel Bryan was less than thrilled and was on "high alert" for RAW retaliation.

Also should be noted that today 10/29 WWE.com released  statement that Emma, Summer Rae and Darren Young had been released from their contracts. Very interesting about Emma since she just debuted Asuka a week ago.

[DING DING DING]

Thanks for checking this out. I'm sorry I'm so behind on posts.
Kinda been a Jabroni lately. DON'T DO THAT.

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