Short Story: The Ego

It is first day for Rina in this new office. She wears the best formal she could find in her wardrobe and put in some make-up. The bag that slings across her shoulder matched her dress and shoes.

She was so pampered and wanted in her last office that she wants to create similar environment in the new office. She wants leave a mark on the very first day.

When she reaches the office she is introduced to the team. The director leading the team, manager co-leading the team, an officer based in headquarters and another officer who will soon leave for the field office. She was here just for the training.

She is immediately welcomed in the office. The headquarters based officer has read her book and praised her Nepali writing. The manager knows her husband, the chairman of the famous publishing house. The field based officer expresses that to her, she is like a celebrity and she never imagined being her colleague.

Rina sees her mark already in the office. She is satisfied and elated. The day passes as she expected. Lots of questions about her family writings and personal life. She feels happy to answer those and is kind of liking the place and team.

Rina feels like a feather when she is getting ready for the office next day. The burden to prove herself isn't there anymore. When she enters the office, she has the widest possible smile on her face. She is so confident that she waves a big hi to everyone. Everyone responses except for the new person sitting at the desk that was empty last time. That girl looks confused. Rina feels like the girl is looking through her and where she stands, there is none but the air.

She sees around to find if anyone is going to introduce her to the new girl but sees no sign of as such. She introduces herself to the new comer, 'Hello, I am Rina, the new coordinator in the team.' The new girl in return says, 'I am Lakpa. I am her for the training and will move to my station next week.' Rina realizes she is the second officer who will leave for the field soon.

Rina reaches to her desk at the corner of the office. Beside her is Lakpa engrossed with something on the screen. Lakpa neither comments on her book and writing style not hints that she recognizes her father and husband. It is quite unusual feelings to Rina. Wherever she goes, she is recognized and celebrated. She is not treated normally. She has this fleeting thought that Lakpa is jealous of her achievements and trying to belittle her.

Watching the behavior whole day, Rina realizes Lakpa doesn’t have any ill intention. Lakpa is an introvert and likes to talk less unless necessary. On top of that, she is oblivious to Rina's background.

The realization doesn’t help Rina. Rina is so used to being known that she could not believe there is someone in the world that too in her own field oblivious about her fame. Rina doesn’t notice but she was feeling low. She is unable to adjust with the normal treatment. She craves for attention-she wants Lakpa to ask which book her husband is going to publish, if she is writing another book. But nothing as such happened.

Back home, she doesn’t cook dinner and directly head to the bed. When asked by husband, she says she is not well and wants to rest. She keeps tossing on her bed unable to sleep and when she could finally manage to dozed off, she dreamt that she was lost somewhere in the middle of the desert. Waking up, she finds herself sweating.

She is not excited at all to go to the office. Not only Lapka, everyone in the office showering her with praises seem to behaving with her casually. She could not ask for the leave on the very third day to office. Left with not options, she heavy heartedly gets ready and leaves for office.

The day was normal. Everyone does their work and seeks her help as needed. She doesn't feel celebrated and wanted. She doesn't feel like accompanying the team to the lunch and decided to stay back.

Lakpa and another field office returns early from the lunch saying they have some work to finish. She manages to convince them that they should not be working during lunch hour and started chatting. The seemingly normal chat about work takes the personal touch. They starts talking about family. Lakpa is very less engaged yet she is too good to hurt them avoiding everything.

Rina while talking about her family purposely mentioned that she wasn't in favor of marriage but had no option when her father in law cutely came to her house asking her hand for her son. She says that he was so cute like every artist should be. When she mentioned artist, the other officer quickly verifies if her father in law is an artist. Rina nods and quickly turns to her computer. She googles the name of her father-in-law and shows them his work.

With the other officer, Lakpa leans in to watch too. She then googles another photo of a girl and said that the girl is her sister-in-law. The girl is a beautiful and famous actress. Showing her, Rina mentions that she sometimes feel pressured to take care of her body because her sister in law is so beautiful and has to struggle with the feeling that she is not.

Throughout the conversation, Rina closely observes Lakpa. Her expression is not as profound as the other officer but Rina notices that Lakpa is interested and curious. Lakpa knows about the fame of Rina's and her family life and thus, is a level under her. Knowing this, Rina's ego is finally at peace and she could be her normal self.