This Bizarre New Conspiracy Theory Says The World Is Ending Next Month

 You’ve probably heard of Planet X, also known as ‘Nibiru’.
The planet was popularized in December 2012, when conspiracy theorists declared that it would collide with Earth and destroy the world, fulfilling an ancient Mayan prophecy.

Now, it’s back with a vengeance and backed by Revelations. The upcoming August 21st eclipse is thought to be the herald of the end-times. It’s not an angelic trumpeter, but it echoes this passage from Revelation, which conspiracy theorist David Meade has used to defend his prediction:
“The Stars of Heaven and their constellations will not show their light. The rising Sun will be darkened and the Moon will not give its light.”
Meade has written a book titled Planet X – The 2017 Arrival. It has 4 out of 5 stars on Amazon, and features such gems in its description as this:
“The existence of Planet X is beyond any reasonable doubt, to a moral certainty. We examine proofs of its existence. In fact, if you want to ask one simple question that posits the theory of the reality of Planet X, just ask yourself where did 2.2 Trillion disappear to in the Pentagon’s budget that Rumsfeld said was missing, and why do we have over 100 Underground Deep Bunkers throughout the U.S.?”
Good question! Actually, wait, how does missing money prove the existence of an unknown planet? According to Meade, the entire US government is preparing for the arrival of Planet X. But what’s his proof?
He cites the Book of Revelation, and a lot of strange numerology. It makes for a kind of fascinating read. Meade explains something he calls the ’33 Convergence’. From the man himself:
“When the eclipse begins on August 21, the sunrise will be dark, just as Isaiah predicts. The Moon involved is called a black moon. These occur about every 33 months. In the Bible, the divine name of Elohim appears 33 times in Genesis.”
Surely this is some rock-solid statistical analysis.

Meade continues, citing the image in Revelation chapter 12 of a woman who will stand upon the moon, clothed in the sun, with a crown of twelve stars, representing the twelve hierarchies of angels that serve God. It’s a beautiful image, but Meade thinks it specifies the details of his ham-fisted prophecy.
The woman would be Mary, the virgin, translated into the constellation Virgo, which will supposedly give birth to the apocalypse, an inversion of the immaculate conception. It’s a better science fiction concept than most. Meade could have written a pretty compelling synthesis of Biblical prophecy and state-of-the-art space technology.
Unfortunately, there’s one major problem with his theory, and it’s fatal. No scientist on Earth has ever seen Planet X, and if it was about to collide with Earth, it would certainly have become visible long, long ago. Also, it’s unclear where exactly in the Book of Revelation that Planet X is mentioned…

The Nibiru conspiracy isn’t Meade’s invention, however. According to the author of the UFO Investigations Manual, Nigel Watson, Nibiru is home to an advanced alien race that created human DNA and planted it upon Earth. Comically enough, this is heresy – after all, isn’t God the creator of humankind, not advanced science?
The end of the world is slated to arrive on September 23rd. There are only 22 major Arcana in the Tarot, so reaching the 23rd would signify the end of time. At least, that’s how a young occultist may justify the choice of date. Personally, I think the 33 convergence is dead wrong. Really, you have to add the 3s together, to arrive at 6, and 6 is the number of Satan, so 666 makes 18, and 2018 is around the corner, so…
Sorry, just planning the next major Biblical conspiracy theory. Watch out for my new book: “The Anti-Christ is Made of Silicon And You Will Be Micro-Chipped”, in stores nowhere. As for David Meade, I’m sure he’ll have a new theory in no time, once October 2017 rolls around and he has to explain where Planet X was this whole time.