It's simple really,

I just cannot continue on like this anymore,

The mere idea that I could perhaps make an income of any substantial amount by writing seems implausible. Seems empty, seems wrong. Anyone feel me?

On the flip side, writing is work! As work is defined today by google as, "activity involving mental or physical effort done in order to achieve a purpose or result."

And my purpose here is to vent. Is to share my experience, an experience that so far I can not say of which I am very proud. Though pride perhaps has become my worst enemy as exemplified for example by my belief in my ability at poker.

But dare I say that nothing, and nothing is easy. And I certainly believe that writing everyday would be very difficult as well. Anything worth doing is hard. But I've always had a passion to write. Since I was youngest as I can remember, I've always understood that I had a duty, an obligation to write.

What a better opportunity than right now to begin writing on the public block chain. My stupidity, my expertise, every word etched as it were in stone!

How does one begin to stitch together the 1,000+ ideas he would like to convey? How shall I keep your attention?

Do I really want to just publish this. Lol, is it up to par? Is it any good at all? Do I want this associated with me?

The purpose is love that is deeper than hatred.

I don't want my fellow people to suffer.

I quote, "my people perish for lack of knowledge."

I've avoided the tap water, I've avoided alcohol. And I won't eat pork.

I haven't avoided those cigarettes, and that sweet tooth.

At first glance I look fairly healthy, but upon inspection, at 32, I feel like I'm 42. I serve tables to survive.

Poor diet and poor social health I feel like a willing hermit. And I can't go on like this anymore.

Before smoking I had two root canals alone before leaving my parents' home. That's a testament to how regular Coca-Cola and grains and baked goods and pastries. In my adulthood now I am really trying to eat right again. The real medicine is food. The real root of our health problems 'a-z' is nutrition.

Seems obvious but if you dig in to it just a little bit.

My goodness..