Got White Widow?

Man, White Widow hits different, doesn’t it? After smoking that huge blunt, everything felt like it was moving in slow motion. I remember staring at my hand for a good five minutes, convinced it was growing bigger or something. Anyway, once that classic wave of munchies hit, I went full-on scavenger mode.

First stop: candy stash. You know how it is, you can never have too many options. So, I grabbed some Skittles, Sour Patch Kids, and those mini Snickers bars like my life depended on it. My hands were just going from one bag to the next, mixing sour with sweet and chocolate, not caring about any kind of flavor coordination.

Then, out of nowhere, I got it in my head that chicken wings were an absolute necessity. So, I ordered a huge batch of wings—buffalo, BBQ, honey garlic, you name it. While waiting for delivery, I had this genius idea to multitask. I figured I’d organize my fridge while snacking on candy because why not, right? Bad move.

So there I am, trying to balance candy in one hand, holding open the fridge with the other, and for some reason, I thought it’d be a smart idea to "marinate" some of the candy in a cup of ranch dip. I literally tossed a Sour Patch Kid into ranch like it was some kind of cooking experiment. Spoiler: it was disgusting. But in that moment, I thought I’d created the next great culinary invention.

Finally, the wings arrived, and I tore into them like a wild animal. I was eating so fast that I didn’t even notice I was still holding a half-melted Snickers bar, which, at some point, I accidentally dipped into the buffalo sauce. Let me tell you, chocolate and buffalo do NOT mix, but my brain just kept saying, "It’s fine, it’s all food, just eat it."

After I realized what I had done, I just sat there, wings and chocolate in hand, wondering where it all went wrong, but still somehow totally satisfied. Ah, the adventures of being blazed on White Widow!