It was a habit, habitual things aren't necessarily, bad, they don't control you, you simply do them without thinking or paying attention to them, you don't fiend for them, you don't crave for habits, they are automatic and not stress inducing.

What you did was stepped off from oral fixation/habit to dependence. You did what many people do, they replace their normal self sustaining brain juices with exterior juices...

Now you need release. Release cannot come from within because you have divorced that part of your system and married to the external.

Many will chant moderation right about now, and you might be thinking that it doesn't really control you.

But, if you take a hard look it cannot be any other way, there is only this new marriage now, and divorcing it is not an option.

That is control, when you cannot, you are controlled.

To be free you must go through pain, and the pain is what controls you.

Embrace the pain, wholeheartedly, embrace it as you would a new wife, embrace it so much that you invite it EVERYWHERE, you create every possible situation just to have some of that pain.

Embrace the pain.

I can tell you everything there is to know about weed.
I lived in the WEED capital of the world, not amsterdam, Ukiah California, I was a weed king making money like no other, I have a seller who owes me 20k cash, and it's all cool, I don't sweat it and we are on great terms. I grew hydroponically, then aeroponically, I invented my own wattercooled 1000w hps lights. I smoked and sold hash that was ranked number one at the hash bowl in Mendo county, meet the man who created girl scout cookies, I literally spent 3 years of my life living a dream, so don't think for one moment that what I said about embracing the pain is from some ditz who never tried weed. I took lsd, pure lsd, lsd again and again, lizard skin, shrooms, never did DMT, and before all of this I had out of body experiences from meditating, had went through fire and watched my voice burn, then I was hit with a train of ecstasy, and then another successive one increasing in magnitude exponentially, and again and again until it was daytime, it felt like 5 minutes but meditation is a motherfucker. I was called the most enlightened by rank (lol) in a group of people that were enlightenment outcasts, I helped others go through such experiences, even my wife.

Embrace the pain, and you will win this game.