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Before hitting your spouse, remember there was a day you looked into his/her eyes and a thought crossed your mind 'Oh I love this cutey'. Maybe that would hold your hand up like one who is in shock from seeing a ghost.

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I woke up and encountered a man named Pete and his wife Anne, where the former was stabbed to death by his wife on the allegation of infidelity, a suspicion that was reported to have emanated from a particular text message. The beautiful pictures of the smiling couple that was captioned is undoubtedly a picture of the couple's Pre-wedding shots, an activity that we adored even more than the wedding pictures these days. They were all smiles and the aura of love surrounding them is extremely obvious.
Today, I don't want to believe the explicit aura was created by the photographer that took the snap shots, for how could the love have vanished into thin hair to an extent that one of the couple- the one adjudged to be weaker and succulent, would pick a knife and stab the other until life was snuffed out of him. The love couldn't have been real.

I have seen extreme cases of violence among couples who at a time or another demonstrate real passion for each other, what then changed?

I don’t think the problem is Love, I think the problem is Us, we overrate Love, we believe it’s like what oxygen is to life, we believe it is the lifeline of any relationship and then we close our eyes to every other variables. Our fiancés exhibits disapproved behaviours, aggressiveness, extreme jealousy, high handedness, carefreeness etc. but because we thought Love is all that matters, we surreptitiously ignored it, after all there is love and isn't love all that matters? How wrong is that pattern of thinking.

Actions are bound to have consequences, whereas no-actions have worst consequences.

Take for instance, your boyfriend shouts at you when you are having arguments, he gets caustic and spit malodorous words, I’ll advice the lady to get out of that relationship before your lifeless carcass end up on the pages of the New York Times or the early morning Daily’s Newspaper, your girlfriend picks stick when you have arguments but you are still staying in the relationship because you love her and you are scared of what people would say if you break up with her, well... they will feel sorry for you when you die from her stab and that wouldn't stop them from eating at your funeral if food is made available, after all it is the dead that doesn't eat, the livings do and trust me you may not even get Justice, remember we are just humans and we aren’t perfect.

Most of these irrational and erratic behaviours are not too implicit or hidden during courtships, but the perceptual consequences are lost in the frenzy atmosphere of mere passion, irrational passion. That is why Steinberg suggested that marriage should only take place when the stages of love in his popular theory of love stating that you should ensure that you reason with your brain and not your blood or rather in this situation Heart.

Men by nature are naturally promiscuous, Yes... you must have heard it a million times, and it doesn't change the fact that it is the truth. We get turned on by merely sighting curves, although the degree of our responsiveness varies, I have not met a truthful man that would say he doesn't respond to ostentatious figures that abounds everywhere these days.
You may call it an aberration but you will have to argue on that with God for creating us the way he did. However, that does not imply that we follow everything we are attracted to, that understanding could be the genesis towards striking a mental balance of understanding, an understanding that could cut your rage into two, at least.

Furthermore, the African society is one that terribly encourages polygamy as a way of life, even in the 21st century. Those that are explicitly against it often keep girlfriends in confinement to satisfy their sexual urges, permit me to ask this, who is fooling who then?

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These are positions that must be well understood by every female that belongs to this clime, maybe that would ameliorate the burning sensations they feel when their 'freedom' in a relationship is being threatened.

In awe of this, my message shouldn’t be lost in the last few paragraphs, my major point is to understand your partner, think with your brain and not your Heart. Set a parameter or limit, if he/she gets to the extreme, pick your bag and Run! Yeah, you heard me, Run, don't go into a marriage with the hope that he/she will change, For God sake, what gives you that assurance? Run with your life when you still can, before the world become sorry for you, and you will be admonish to Rest in Perfect Peace.

Personally (i stand to be corrected if wrong), am of the opinion that marriage is not a necessity or criteria for a perfect life, your life can also be perfect when you fulfill the dreams of making the world a better and safer place for generations to come.

PS: Any Addition or contribution in light of the subject matter is welcome for those who care to read through to the end.

I remain myself, a simple observer and analyst 4larinwha