MY VOCAB PRACTICE

1. My love of horses probably started when I used to want to tell my dad about my day at school but one of his girlfriends was coming over to wrestle with him in his room, so he would order me to go out back and talk to the horses, and when I would complaint that the horses wouldn't care about some kid's story he would say, "Son, don't tell the older horses about it, TELEPHONE."

2. Eventually I went to college without having made any friends, but with lots of programming skills, so when I realized that I needed someone to talk with but that the school was located in an urban area devoid of large animals, I created a simulated farm on my computer and spend all my time talking to a SYMPHONY.

3. There was a weird bug in the programming though, which (a) made all the creatures in the simulation pronounce their "S's" like "Z's", and (b) made my young computer generated horse-friend become super-paranoid about the federal government and the collapse of society, so that in exchange for the right to live in newly converted shelters that had once been in-game underground nuclear missile silos, my horse friend became the face of The Survivalist Bunker Company Incorporated and became famous across the in-game world as the XYLOPHONE.

4. And then, sadly, after all that, he died last year of complications related to Lyme disease that he had contracted after being bitten by infected PHONETICS.