Ambassador's Log - US Forces Deliver Humanitarian Nails to Venezuela

The Venezuelan government doesn't seem to want our humanitarian aid delivered by US forces and USAID at the Colombian-Venezuelan border.

They actually refused to accept our delivery truck full of humanitarian nails, humanitarian barricade wires, and other flammable items!!!

Nails that were earmarked to help with the rebuilding of their fragile democracy were not allowed to enter the sovereign country despite our insistence that they accept it.

So, we did the compassionate thing...
No we didn't lift the crippling sanctions, are you insane?
We thought that perhaps they couldn't quite see the trucks bursting with relief aid clearly enough on the bridge so we ignited it for better visibility. We pleaded with them to receive our smoking and toasted flat bed of nails.

Yet, they still refused our benevolent goodwill gesture!


WHY WON'T YOU TAKE OUR FUCKING NAILS??!!

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!

DON'T YOU WANT FLAMING NAILS??!!!


...maybe we'll have to drop some good old fashioned love-bombs before your government realizes that the starving Venezuelan people demand humanitarian flaming nails.