The story of my heart and why I became vegan.

I grew up in Czech republic in the times of a cold war. We didn't have much, no luxury in our home. My parents were very young when I was born and I am more of what you call an accident. Unwanted child, but the abortion was not really the right thing to do for my mum, even tho my father left her for another woman not knowing she was pregnant. Later they hooked up again and like that married 2 months before I was born.
On 11.11.1977 little girl couldn't wait to get into this world. My mum gave me birth in less than 3 hours when she was 17 years old. I was not really a little baby even tho my mum looked more like someone who suffers anorexia. I think she really did. Her mother didn't love her and didn't feed her well, she even hide some food like tomatoes in the shoes and there were days my mum didn't eat more than a soup at her friend's home.
With the knowledge I have today about energy, DNA, thing what most people call karma...I think all that influenced my eating behaviour.
As I said earlier, we didn't have much. Not only my family but the whole country. Of course if you knew right people at right places you could get something extra. So my family got good meat. My grandfather and some good friends of my parents worked in a meat factory...the name only is a painful thing to this world. But in that time it was the best thing for us. They found some good ways how to get the good meat out. Stroganoff or horse meat and even bulls testickles were often at my plate. Schnitzel, steaks, chicken or rabbit. It was our daily food. Some potatoes or bread with it, dumplings...yes, the most unhealthy things ever, white flour in sauces, sugar and salt...from very young age I was fed with pig's vet on my bread, hundreds of kinds of sausages and ham. I didn't know better then to play with baby rabbits at my grandma's one day and eating their heads the next day. Looking back at this I feel sick.

How low did we get, all together, how loveless are we? What are we doing to our children, letting them watch the murder of another sentient being? Yes, sometimes I've watched how my grandma slaughters the rabbit and take it's skin off.
Or the pig...killing the pig you first take care of, feed it, scratch it's back and then bam...kill it, tear it apart, cook it, bake it, press it into the sausages...do not forget the liters of alcohol flowing and people around, it's a party!
Pig is dead, in pieces, people are drunk, fighting even....yeah.
Great things for little children to be around.
And so the darkness sets into the soul of a pure being which came into this world with ideas about love, humble and curios. Not having another example, the child grows up and becomes just a same person as the generations before...

Lucky for me, my soul was stronger then this dirty, evil brainwash program I was born into.
Always being rebel, always getting into the troubles...
I started to hate myself. My body... I hated the most. My dad always called me by the name of one popular actress who was little on a heavy side. In that time a 15 year old girl with the weight of 60 kg was extreme and fat in my society.
The real trouble with my food started there I suppose. I started different diets, stopped to eat from time to time, then ate a lot again...my legs were little fat so I started to hate them, I was ashamed of them. I wanted to have the fat sucked out..and in that time the liposuction didn't even exist yet...
When I was almost 19 I moved into the Netherlands and got nice job. It was about 7 years after the revolution but I never felt more free...
I worked in a family and I could get anything to eat. All my money went for clothe and food. Me and my friends went to a disco and after that we went to eat, at four o'clock in the morning roasted chicken and french fries...I didn't want to become fat so I had to do something about that. I made new friends with wrong behaviour and ended up on some drugs which totally block your appetite. I became skinny. That time I liked my looks the best...Then I've met my future husband, changed lifestyle, got married, got pregnant, got fat, got my daughter, stayed fat....untill 2 years later, with help of some shitty stuff I lost the weight and felt very good about myself. I almost stopped to eat...I had 3 cereal cookies a day, half of sandwich or half of sausage... be happy ;)

Not really. My marriage was a drama, I had to leave. Next 2 years I had many problems with my ex husband, I felt so alone, had many fears...the fridge became my best friend.
I don't know how much I ate but it was terrible. I started to gain weight again. I met a very nice guy and moved in together.
Got anticonception. Got fat. Again.
I was devastated by my self.

I started to put the finger in my throat. Stood crying before the fridge. Threw up again. I couldn't help myself, couldn't stop. When my boyfriend had the night shift I was nervous few hours before and couldn't wait for him to leave so I could get into the fridge again. Just to end up sick shortly after. This went on for a few years. Then some crash diet helped me to loose weight just to gain it again little later.

When I was 28 my throat tonsils had to be removed because of chronical inflammation. My teeth were hurting by the often throwing up. And I hated myself more than ever before. I saw in my daughter the problems she was starting to have by mirroring my behaviour. I knew then I need to change.

From my mum I got a book she recently discovered: Love your life by Louise L. Hay. I started to read and the change was unbelievable. I can now say it saved my life. But the work I had to do myself. And I did.
Within a year I got an amazing job I really enjoyed, new friends, nicer people around me, my health went 90% up and
I started to shine. My consciousness expanded.
And then the day I became vegetarian followed.

I was driving to some small village and on my way I stopped the car between some fields to get my sandwich from the trunk. Three cows came running to me as they saw me pull over. I found that sweet and walked closer to greet them.
I looked into eyes of one of them...and then it hit me. How can we eat this? Look how beautiful they are, they even make a connection with us! I never touched beef again. Because of this I started to see more bad stuff we are doing to the animals. I became aware. I only ate chicken and fish but felt uncomfortable with that either. Then I found out the chicken has IQ equal to a four year old child. How can we slaughter and eat them !?
At home I had cats and dog. I loved them very much...but what difference does it make to eat a chicken or a cow and not a dog?
We hate chinese people for their dog eating festival but how is that different to us having a party around the murder of a pig?
My mum didn't understand and sometimes became a bit angry with me. I can see why...she got confronted with her own guilt but didn't have the strength to get out of her brainwashing yet. That's a problem lot of people are still facing.
I don't blame them. My road was also to long and I would like to be aware of all this much earlier. I adore the little children I see sometimes at you tube who are finding out what's really on their plate and tell their parents I am not gonna eat my friends!
And they are right..we love the animals and yet we kill them for a few minutes of some sick pleasure. And it is not even so good because if you don't bake it or something with some nice herbs and spices..who would really enjoy eating meat?
I found out the flesh starts to rot just a few hours after slaughter. It gets grey and green so they colour it with artificial colours. Why in God's name would someone still want to eat that?

By now I know so many things about how the energy works, how the vibration works, frequency, thoughts, emotions...and I know who profits the most from us slaughtering and eating another beings. I know I will never eat dead body of any animal again. By choice I mean. I might get into some situation when I will have no other choices but untill that..no no.

Two years ago we moved back to Czech republic where meat eating is just a same as 20 years ago when I left.
When eating out you can choose from more than twenty foods based on meat and one or two meatless. With cheese instead of it. In my mind I was often thinking about becoming vegan but thought it would be to difficult especially in Czech republic where meat eating is kind of a national sport.
Then a video of some vegan blogger came to my attention. She shoved the world in a few minutes what dairy industry and egg industry really is. I cried. I couldn't believe how people treat animals.
I knew a lot, but I kind of didn't realised the horror behind my piece of cheese.
I thought I was changing the world by not killing the animals for a piece of meat.

I was shocked by the violence against milk cows. I was shocked by how the transportation of the chickens goes.
I was shocked the most by the ignorance and not caring of the people who are just doing their jobs.
I became vegan....never looked back.
Never missed anything.
I even lost about 10 kg in one month....10 kg of guilt, pain, shame, toxins.....I was proud to be able to get through all my addictions. Because I truly believe eating meat and cheese are nothing else than that.
Addiction to blood, to adrenaline...and chemicals.
And there are people who profit from us killing the innocent and becoming soulless zombies.
All the fears and pain of these pure beings are stored in their cells, for generations in their DNA and we eat it.
We now know, thanks to Emomoto's amazing work on water memory, that the intentions and thoughts influence the behaviour of water. Water has memory, cells are made from water. Animal or a human being, doesn't matter, are both made from water besides some other stuff. And that other stuff comes from earth. We get it through the plants which are full of the earth's materials. Every plant has it's own healing code which restores the little damages in our DNA.
When animals eat plants and we eat the animals we eat them for the reason to get the same nutrients out of their meat but we add more steps to it. It is not even logical.
But again, someone profits from this and I am not gonna support this group anymore.
I choose peace and love, I choose freedom, wisdom, empathy above anything else.
I am very thankful I was able to grow and reach this level of consciousness.
I am very aware there is much more to reach.
My intuition and inner wisdom, or connection to the universe, had grown much more sinds I do not pollute my body and soul by the low vibrations from animal products. I bless people who became aware and those who still didn't so they open their eyes to see. To realise..
I know giving the example is the only way. Be the change you wish to see.
And I believe the intention is the most important in anything we do.
My intention is to be each day the best I can be, to do no harm, to love the world and do my best to make it an amazing place for generations to come. There are days I can't do it better, but after a fall I get up and feel more powerful than before by looking at my accomplishments. I am far from perfect but I do not care about perfect anymore.

I care about love, health, freedom and cleaning my mind of the evil viruses which had infected all of us.
That's why I know the veganism really can save the world...because it is about love and self sacrifice, about cutting the cords to pain and blood, shifting the paradigm and feel what the other can feel.
It shows us the connection between us as humans and all there is. Just like it was originally designed.

I thank you from deepest of my heart for your attention and willingness to read my post...bless you and your actions and please come back for more if you enjoy my style...more will be coming about many different things I came across during my life. I appreciate you and thank you in advance for your comment or even upvote if you are to give me one.

If you like to know more about me just read my first post here
https://steemit.com/introducemyself/@nikatje/thank-you-for-reading

Ho'o pono pono