Healing despite a life time of authority induced traumatic stress

Authority Traumatic Stress Disorder (ATSD) is not a term you will find in any book.  In fact, when I searched for that term on line, I only found 4 instances of that exact phrase, none of them coming close to what I want to share.  I made up the term in an attempt to describe the trauma, stress and anxiety that people feel as a result of a life time of experiencing the behaviours of others who claim authority over them.  Especially those who abuse their authority while engaging in violence and bullying by threatening and intimidating people.  

Source: commons.wikimedia.org

It does not seem to matter who it is.  Most people with some level of authority tend to engage in these kinds of abusive behaviours, whether it is covert or overt.  It could be a spouse, teacher, lawyer, politician, social worker, doctor, engineer, police officer, judge or any other professional who has been granted power or authority over others by the feudal state.  If we stand up to that authority they will engage in violence or coercion in an attempt to retain their authority.  Anybody who stands up to authority  is typically labeled ODD,  oppositional defiance disorder in an attempt to intimidate people to back down and be compliant.  

The authorities created a disorder to describe and treat those who want to stand up, draw a line in the sand and say 'no more abuse, violence and coercion'!  Granted that ODD is mainly for those with anger and violent issues themselves.  But what about those who peacefully stand up against the state?  So I created a term ATSD; authority traumatic stress disorder. The main problem is the difficult to completely remove oneself from having to interact with the authorities which caused the trauma or stress and continues to do so.

While I'm no medical professional, I am very aware of the trauma and stress associated with state sponsored bullying, abuse of power, threats and intimidation.  When we peacefully stand up to authority to confront the bullying, those with the authority either balk at the rebuke and get even more aggressive or they will back off.  As with any other traumatic experience, people who are working at ending this violent relationship must find a way to set the boundaries so that those with authority are no longer engaging in violence.  Peace is paramount when making a stand.

It is tough as there is no where one could go to 'get away' from the bully.  They are all around.  The approach I took was to say no and completely cut off all ties with the state, despite their infrequent attempt to re-engage with me.  I've done something that is unorthodox, unpopular, brazen and peaceful on my part.  

But healing from a life time of authority driven indoctrination is very difficult to do.  As a result of years of indoctrination, I've been looking over my shoulder for over a decade wondering when they would come to 'get me'.  I've had to find the courage and strength to stand up tall and not take any abusive behaviours from anybody wearing the fictional mask of authority despite how I felt about it all.  I call this 'Authority Traumatic Stress Disorder' (ATSD) and I've seen it in many others as well.

It is a scary process as we all have been conditioned from birth to obey authority or else face the consequences.  People rarely confront this preconceived notion of authority and truly contemplate that the relationship is founded on violent and abuse.  Finding the courage and strength to stand up to this abusive relationship also requires that we rebuke the authority as well and find ways to self-govern instead.

To reject a life time of indoctrination is one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do.  The fear, anxiety and stress associated with this level of emotional healing is compounded by the fact that the authority is still there, still abusive and even justified in their actions.  One cannot really leave and be 100% safe as the risk of violence is always present.  

I've found that my successes have brought some comfort as my confidence grows.  It is nearly been 10 years since I sent them my declaration and I've been followed many times by police since, but only stopped once.  I've been intimidated by the military only to have them apologize and withdraw and establish a no-fly-zone around our domain. I've had social workers crying and thanking me for reminding them what their job is all about.  I've even had a provincial minister say, in a round about way, that I was right and encourage me to resolve my dispute with the county.  Judges refuse to hear my case and make it clear that they are not precedent setting.  I did not even have to say a word to the judge.  

Despite all of that, I've spent the last decade looking down my drive way wondering if the cops are going to show up one day.  This is how deeply ingrained and damaging authority sponsored violence has become.   I've spoken with others who feel scared, intimidated and even feel a great deal of anxiety when they confront the violence of the state wondering if they are going to come and steal their kids or throw them in jail.  In my view, it is just as bad as PTSD but how many of us are willing to acknowledge that something like ATSD even exists?  Most people just bend over.  Many of them complain and ask why we don't just submit!  Insanity!  

Over time the healing does bring relief, but until the authority declares peace as well, I feel it will always be there, nagging us, haunting the depths of our minds and hearts.  I don't really think that people are even aware how much damage and violence that authority has done to us all.

So I coined a new phrase tonight, ATSD, to bring attention to the psychological stress and trauma that results from authority and perhaps we can now start talking how we are doing to heal from it all.  It will take years, perhaps even generations.  The trauma is real.  The healing must be allowed without interference.