#ulog 6 : This crazy thing called college

I never thought I'd be here in UPLB, because I never really felt like I belonged here.

When my mother and I did research during the summer vacation of 2015 about the possible courses I could take here, I had already listed UP Diliman as my first choice campus, and UP Los Banos as the second choice. The courses I picked for UPD were Geology and Geodetic Engineering, while I picked Chemistry and Agricultural Chemistry for UPLB. Guess where I ended up now? I'm a BS Agricultural Chemistry student here in UPLB. I got my second choice course on my second choice campus. In other words, this situation was the one I was least expecting. 

My journey in the university so far has been anything but smooth sailing. I experienced a culture shock in the first semester of first year college, and as a result I failed my first math course in the university. I immediately took the subject again during the second semester of the same academic year, where my grades definitely improved but were still below average. In the four semesters that followed, I got a failing grade in at least one subject in two of those semesters so far (I said "so far" because the fourth one is still ongoing).

The highest and lowest GWA I've ever gotten in a subject is 1.5 and 5 (multiple subjects), respectively. Meanwhile, the highest and lowest GWA I've ever gotten in a whole semester is 1.93 (regular semester) and 4.5 (midyear / summer semester), respectively. 

Most students here are liberated in terms of values. Drinking, casual sex, and computer games are among their many activities of leisure. As a Christian, it is required of me that I take caution in walking among such people. 

Romans 12:2 (KJV) - And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. 

1 Corinthians 15:33 (KJV) - Be not deceived; evil communications corrupt good manners. 

I often wonder about why I even got into UPLB in the first place, and why I'm still here. I barely understand chemistry these days, unlike before. I almost never involve myself with other students beyond the classroom because of their earthly desires and inconsiderate attitudes. My allowance is almost always short of being enough for all my needs for the week. Taking into account all of the things I've been experiencing in UPLB, all signs point to me not belonging here; most of the time it seems that things are working against me during my stay in the university. 

Every time I think about these things, it always ends with the realization that this is God's will for me. He granted me the privilege to study in such a renowned university. He gave me the chance to accumulate knowledge that I can use to serve Him and my fellow Filipinos. I remind myself  after that I shouldn't think about how hard it is, that I should be thankful that I even got in here in the first place even if I know that I don't deserve it. 

I can see it too in the eyes of my fellow brothers and sisters in faith who are also studying in UPLB. I've seen their superhuman efforts just for the sake of keeping up with everything that the university demands of us. Despite all of the hardships we experience, we continue to be cheerful and productive as a Christian, knowing that the Father is there to listen to our prayers. That is why at the end of the day, when I am tempted to think about how harsh this world is, I hold on to my faith and remember how good God is to me. I'll keep trying, knowing that God is watching over me. and that it is not hard for Him to give me comfort in my suffering. 

John 16:33 (KJV) -  These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.  

Thanks for reading! More to come.

Take care,

Jesse Mar