Ulog 12: The Things I Got From My Mama
Photo is from source.
For today's ulog I just want to share with all of you what went on with my relative's funeral.
My uncle was a promising man. My mother used to recall feeling jealous about his life because he was able to get into a good college while she wasn't even given the chance to further her education. My mother bitterly recalls how my uncle would always have the chance to eat three good meals a day since he was adopted by their grandparents. My mother's grandparents were well-off financially. Her father, being the black sheep of the family, fell into poverty's clutches.
The family got together recalling the good things that my uncle was to them. My mother, on the other hand, looked serious and distracted.
Instead of immersing into the funeral mass, my mother got self-conscious about how she looked. One of her insecurities were her freckles and they looked relatively more visible today as compared to other days. Her sister gave her a tube of foundation to cover them up. My mom asked if the foundation really covered up her freckles. I said, "Yes ma." Unsatisfied, she then again asked, "Sure?" I said with a stern, loud voice, "Ma, your face already looks good. Let's focus on the mass because this is uncle's moment."
In an instant, she fell quiet. I felt guilty that I may have hurt her feelings in a way. I then began to think of the situations when people did the exact same thing that I did to my mom. It didn't feel good those times as well.
When I asked people I trusted about something, I almost always want them to tell me what I'd like to hear. In that particular situation, I know that what my mom needed was an assurance that even if her freckles were showing, she still looked good.
The funeral then continued and people were still going on about her face. I wanted to tell her, "You are more than how you look ma." But the words didn't come out from my mouth because I won't even buy that line if it were said to me.
This experience begged the questions -
Why do girls have to look good to feel good all the time? Why are we always in a state of discontentment be it in our looks, our capabilities and our lives?
Where is the pressure coming from?
Is it self-induced?
Help a sister out and speak should you have valuable information.
Discontent is like pain, a signal that something isn't right, needs attention. It can become an emotional habit and can be hard to break out of. The fix is easy to say but harder to do. It is simple: do your best. In the moment, right now, at whatever you are doing. When you are doing your best you are more in the present; there's too much going on to stop and feel discontented. It doesn't matter if the task is housework or neurosurgery or roofing or practicing playing an instrument or babysitting .... The moment you focus on doing your best you will become calmer and happier (and better looking). This is so for a child building with blocks or an old man chopping garlic. To be in the present is enough.
I'm actually putting what you said here to practice, @straightwalker. To be honest, there were more times that I was frustrated in doing my tasks because I never get to be immersed in whatever I was doing. I always have this standard in my head that I can never reach. I have been constantly rushing towards doing tasks not because I want to, but because I have to. Thanks for this. Will let you know if this works for me in the long run or not. Haha!
You can do it, cuz you tell the truth, the most important thing! Have fun.