#ULOG - Happy Birthday To Me

Woke up in the Morning. Happy Birthday to me.

How do I want to spend my day?

Happy, comfortable and full of reflection.

I laid in bed with my oldest playing silly computer games and laughing at my inability to command her laptop.

I spent some time journaling. I let my feelings go raw. Usually I try to stick to the positives in life, maybe list some goals and dreams, or acknowledge how much I do. Usually I am kind to myself and pat myself on the back a lot, and dream dream dream.

But today I let myself explore. I really let myself go in there.

I found some meh's with my life. Things I would rather improve. I acknowledged and then gave myself some pep talks. I called in spirit to help me with these life improvements I am yearning for. Wrote some affirmation questions for myself and let myself picture myself there.

I know this time next year, I'll be reflecting, and Ill be happy with the results. Because I can already see them in my minds eye. Its like the results are already here.

I called my best friend as a birthday treat, and let her tell me how awesome I am. She complimented my hair, and reminded me how beautiful I am and how awesome she thinks I am. I like talking to her. I am happy every time I give myself the opportunity.

I then took my middle child for a walk and bought lunch for the crew. I lost rhythm in the kitchen which means my leftovers didn't get eaten, my veggies are getting overripe and the tortillas and bread are gone. But it was my birthday so I took the easy route and bought some deliciousness. Sandwiches, soup, fruit, and chips, I called it a birthday picnic and ate it in front of the tv because those clouds came back and it got cold again on this Island.

The best part of the day

Was when I gifted myself a happy birthday nap. I woke up to the kids screaming that they were stuck and couldn't get out. It was a rouse to get mama's attention.

I kept on with my be happy and reflect routine. So I didn't make the kids mind their chores, and I didn't mind them myself either.

It was at this point that I realized the husband would be home soon. Good thing I'd spent lots of time massaging coconut oil into my hair and skin, making sure to thank my body for being with me yet another year. So even if the house and kids were a wreck, I wasn't.

At this point I realized I wasn't prepared for my dinner and there were not enough ingredients for a cake.

And the kids were expectant of something "good" because it was mama's birthday. Where's the cake? Where's the ice cream? Where are the decorations? What's the budget looking like mama? How much can we spend? The neighbor wants to cut the cake with us can she come in? Where did those dishes come from? Aren't you making hamburgers for us? Are we going somewhere? Happy Birthday honey, here's your gift. how much did he spend I don't remember giving him a budget

What did I do with my day

I'm ruining my kids' life

What a lazy failure I am!

Everything is a mess!

"MOM CAN MY FRIEND COME TO YOUR BIRTHDAY PARTY?????"

Birthday Breakdown

Further proof to my daughter that I am completely crazy. I tell her that mom is synonymous with crazy and that we all lose it sometimes. I think I'm right.

Cry cry cry. Whimper wimper. Sniffle sniffle.

Regain composure. Im a mom, birthday or not - the kids got to eat dinner and there's nothing for them to forage.

We ate dinner and parts. We split 6 chicken wings and an order of fries while momma and poppa had a beer at place one. We ate a salad and split three mini tostadas at place #2 with a delicious strawberry drink. And we had a drive thru hamburger at place #3 because the middle child insisted that I promised hamburgers and a soda. One medium coke for five people please. I promised soda, but I didn't say how much.

I guess I'll make a birthday cake tomorrow. Im blowing out candles even if its a day late. I have some wishes that need to come true.

And kids who want to sing happy birthday to their mama.

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Thank you for taking the time to read my attempt at a ulog. If you stopped by i'd love for you to say hello in the comments.