I am so worried for the past couple of days. Life had been playing tricks on me. I can't concentrate on finishing something. I wasn't able to post anything on steemit. I just can't keep my thoughts in place. My ideas are just everywhere. I am lucky I had composed myself a bit to deliver crucial information for my work last week. Mostly of my worries is because I am just so paranoid at times.

Yes, I am aware that I am paranoid. I am even aware that I am an OC person. Sometimes I feel so stupid worrying about so many things. From small things to big things I can't help it. I am not like this before. I think being an OC is also a factor why I want things in order. I don't like chaos in my surrounding. I want things in place, it should be arranged. Before I get to do somethings productive I made sure my surroundings are well arranged. My mind should be completely focused on the urgent things in hand.

It was a struggle to create a new set of schedule when at the back of my mind I was worried what if this time I won't be able to cover all the factors I need to consider. I am worried what if I don't have enough load for all my teachers. I am worried that my leave of absence was not approved yet. I am worried that my ATM was blocked. I am worried because I don't have enough extra time to process the other things and juggle it with my duty schedule. It is a struggle to go after time.

Then I get myself into another situation for me to worry on another aspect of my life. My cousin had been inviting me and my daughter to visit them. They are living outside the country already. I had been there for 3 times already but my daughter hasn't yet. She had been inviting us since 2 years ago. She even get to the point of sponsoring my daughters airfare just to intice us to visit them. Since I am worried (again) her offer won't stand long so I grab the opportunity of getting a short break. Thus, my filing of leave. My filing of loan for the travel. Then goes my worries on my dogs (3 of them actually). Then my grandmother will be left alone at the house. Then I will be away on the week leading to the opening of our school year.

Ha! I know you will be blaming me for getting into this mess hahahahaha... but yeah, I also love to take a break. I was in duty literally the whole school year since June last year until May this year. It was the first time for me for the ten years I was connected with the university to render such duration of duty. I was thinking it's a good way of celebrating my decade with the university. A gift for myself....shhhh... I shared it here because no knows I am celebrating my 10th year with the school hehehehe...

SO MUCH OF ALL MY WORRIES!!! I get to step out of it. People is so amazed of how OPTIMISTIC I am but here I am dwelling on my worries. I need to do something to let go of such negativism and be positive once again. Why would I let such non sense ruin my days when I can do something anyway of going back on track!

So I started my day with waking up early. I said a little prayer and ask guidance for the things I will be doing. After waking up I washed our clothes with the help of my daughter. I then prepared breakfast. We then cleaned up our doggies area and had them for a run after they had taken a bath. I had done budgeting for the week to come and had catch up a short sleep. I then cooked dinner for the family.

There! I got to clear out my mind and had get back on track again and focus for the next week. Thank God I am able to finish this post even with the struggle on keeping on my positive aura :)