Ulog 17: Explosions, Daily Fractal, Question of the Day
I'm trying to be in bed by midnight. This is a good image to represent how my brain feels. So much brilliance ;-) and so much explosion of thought. The brilliance is not necessarily mine. When the brain is ADHD, everything is brilliantly shiny!
I cannot believe how much I am struggling to get my sleep back on track! Apart from occasionally encountering the incredible deep diving itch and pain from food-allergy-inspired hives, I'm doing so much better! I would do much much better if I remembered the mantra "Read the Ingredients and Remember your New Enemies."
So far it's wheat, corn, and cherries. Totally avoiding all tree-nuts. Just bad memories from 15 to 20 to even 30 years ago. I don't need a fresher memory of that scene! They haven't bothered me for the last 5 years or so. All. The. Same. I'll. Pass.
Hmm I still owe ya'll some kind of chart or something that helps with understanding. Let's try a word picture. Think of the body as a vase. Something happens that causes the body to be filled to the brim with histamines. Usually it's a combo deal. For me it's bug bites, hay fields, a little from the cats and a little from the food and then ... The body just explodes in one fashion or another. For me, this year, hives that hurt down into the nerves. Other years, Asthma.
Anyway, as I've graduated from just rice and beef to a little bit more, I'm learning painful lessons about what I can and cannot tolerate -- Right now, in this moment. By next month it could be different. By next year, there will surely be changes. I tell you. It is enough to make a person food phobic -- except for ice cream. After reading the ingredient list.
Oh. yeah. Sleep. I was going to tell you that my grandmother went through this pattern of staying awake deep into the night A Lot. She did it by choice, we were told by everyone but her. She never said why. They said it was because she was afraid of someone breaking in. She did have a tremendous problem with PTSD in a day where all they could say was "she's never been the same since."
But the older I get, the more I enjoy the unbelievable quiet of the night. And I wonder ...
All the same. It's incredibly inconvenient to go to bed at midnight or 2am and then the husband's alarm goes off at 5 and ... well, who can pass up fresh roasted, fresh brewed coffee made by someone else's loving hands? Not I !!
So. I'm trying to find normal. Ok. Normal Sleep Patterns at least.
My Question of the Day is this: How do you feel when someone says your reality couldn't possibly be true? Your reality must match what they say your reality is.
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Hmm it's 12:07am.
Unfortunately sometime it's a relief to know that you are not alone in this cold and dark space of irregular sleep patterns. I am facing this problem for many years now. Believe me, "quiet of night" is a fascinating feeling but it could be the trap, set by your brain to keep you awake. This trap can be varied from person to person. I might be wrong to say anything about your condition, as you're more experienced than I am, but my brain kept setting different traps for me and right now I am trying very hard to adjust my biological clock.
Wish you a good sleep pattern.
Oh I have no doubts that there are many nights when my brain is perfectly content to remain awake soaking up the quiet and the super focus that resides there. I also know it doesn't mind waking me in the night with a batch of perfectly fascinating ideas to wander over.
I use to know a lot of people who would say, "Well, there's no point staying awake worrying about it. You got to just let go and let God." or some such ... I'd always look at them with one eyebrow raised and ask them what makes them think I'm awake worrying about stuff I can't control?
There's way too much fascination in the stuff given to me that I can control.
Last night I actually went to sleep by 11pm only to wake shortly after midnight because the 3 little small ant bites I got 2 days before were suddenly like em hmm being stabbed with three hot pins. I got them calmed down but then my brain was on fire. At 1:45 I sent a friend who lives on the flip-side a big long blurb (blob of text) in the middle of her afternoon ... to which she said, "go to sleep!!" I thought I would. But then I was hungry ... at 5:30 this morning I went to bed. I got 3 hrs sleep. I can't seem to go completely to sleep though for a mid-day nap. And I'm not feeling so great. I wonder why.
So yeah. But no. You're definitely not alone there are ADHD people all over the world perfectly willing to keep you company. Well except the ones that live on the flip-side that send back big eyes and say, "go to sleep!!!" But take heart. In the middle of your day, you can return the favor to them when they send you a 3 paragraph reply from the middle of their night.
Nice to have you drop by. :-)
Now, anyone can understand why I am impressed with the style of your writings ...
Very few people have the quality to make something special with their words.
Million times "hahaha" for the last lines of the last para.
LoL I'm glad you have a twisted brain like mine, that you're easy to impress, and that you enjoy hanging around with old people :-D
Midnight sounds reasonable. I fail to follow a simple rule like that daily. Think I was up to 2 or 3 am. Then I woke up at 6 or 7am. That rather normal for me which I’m not sure if that makes it better or worse.
My reality is what I make it to an extent. If I did not truly want to be doing what I am right now I would do something else. Is my version of reality the best thing in the world? No, has not been for most of my life.
Could someone looking in see my true reality? Well sure there are instances in life where that could be true for someone. That would include some other issues going on. Even so it is still your reality you have to deal with. Despite what is true or not.
Well. Here's the example that was wandering around in the back of my mind. I have been in circumstances where I will say, "I'm allergic to that." and someone will respond, "You just don't want to eat it because you don't like it." I was thinking of a reality that is absoluely true for you, not subjective (sleep in my opinion is still mostly subjective. I mean I think I'd be content to do split sleep IF I would just really go flat sound asleep for another 4 hours. But I never do. I digress. The point is, sleep is a topic that one can pull stats and facts from all over the place to prove most any angle so it remains somewhat subjective.)
Edit: The silly comment ran away while I was still stuffing words into the middle of it.
So Like if you said "Gaming can be profitable for me." Someone else could say "You're delusional and wasting your time." But even though pulled out the stats and facts (assuming you're working hard at the business of it), Still they will argue that you're making things up. Don't tell me there's not people like this in your world. I'll have to come live in your world.
Nice to see you here :-)
There will always be those people displeased that you found a way to make your dreams a reality. While I don’t make a lot from gaming like I use to. It’s still a little something extra. People find out about such things and they refuse to accept them. They work there boring dead end jobs (like I do as well). They just don’t want to think people out there have found way to do what they want to do. They just assume because they are miserable everyone else has to be as well.
Have a wonderful weekend. Sorry if I’m not around as much. Been keeping myself very busy! I do enjoy these chats we have.
The fractal looks absolutely brilliant. Just the way I always love it. They're like toss of emotions which are manifesting into colors. On the note, getting back on the track can be tad challenging but once we're on the right track, oh that feeling!!
LOL yes! The depth in factals is sometimes a little hidden just like the depth of emotions can be.
And yes! yes! That right track can be so fun especially when it lasts more than 3 days!