The love drama I'm dealing with

While I'm dealing with SSA. My love life is currently in the gutter. I first saw JM in 2012 . I was crazy about another guy at the time and really didn't notice JM. Fast forward a few years and I saw JM on Facebook. Sent him a friend request with the thought I would not hear anything. An hour later I got a DM from him. We spent several hours talking. He wanted to meet me in person. I was not ready to meet with him cause I had just gotten out of a relationship and i was taking care of my dad. JM kept trying to get me to meet him. He was very persistant about this. I was still not sure about us meeting.

This lasted for a month. I got the encouragement from my dad to finally meet with JM. I meet with him and had the most wonderful time of my life. As time went on I somehow fell head over heels in love with him. The only snag with our relationship was ED. I told him over and over again that it didn't matter to me if we had actual contact or not. Nothing I said could show him how i felt. Several days ago I agreed with him when he said once again he wasn't a man. At this time I was very stressed out. I regret very much that I said that. He told me that my agreeing hurt him. I've tried to apologise to him. He not talking to me at the moment. I hope that he can find it in his heart to forgive me. I love him so very much. I need him now more then ever.