What on Earth is a Twinge?!

Hey there! I am a new mom of twins. I had a beautiful little boy and girl mid March of this year and they completely changed my whole world. Yes, I got the immediate, " I can't imagine loving anyone or anything more than you" warm and fuzzy feelings, as well as the overwhelming sensation that my entire heart was now placed vulnerably inside these two new fragile beings. I was flooded with love for them and fear that something could happen to them. After a 19 day stay in the NICU for my daughter and a 24 day stay for my son, I quickly transitioned into a the life of a new stay at home mom. My in laws stayed with us for three weeks and my husband stayed home for four, then it was up to me to hold down the fort and raise these babies solo during the day. I was petrified of the idea of leaving the house and my anxiety soared. Indeed, I had all of the baby gear I could think of (researched it in twin groups for a long time and made some large purchases prior to their birth), but I didn't trust they would be okay or that I would know what to do out in the world.

Okay, fast forward several weeks to me sitting on my couch in the early morning trying to keep my eyes open while I fed my babies. They were positioned back to back on a large Twin Z pillow, which is like a double Boppy and were sucking happily away on their bottles. I realized that while my babies were content and obviously cared for, I was not caring for myself. I had become fairly depressed by the monotony of staying home all day and doing the same thing over and over again. I love my babies more than anything, but felt like I lost a huge part of myself. Prior to stay at home twin mom life, I had been an Education Specialist for nine years and worked on helping to build a small business for the past three years. I was used to working a lot and having time to myself. While these babies were very much wanted and extremely planned for, I wasn't used to this new identity. It was in that hazy, half asleep moment, that I decided to make a BIG change.I decided I would no longer be ruled by my anxiety and I would turn this whole twin mom life into a game. This is when I decided to create Twinges!

What is a Twinge? I promised to tell you that, didn’t I? A Twinge is a Twin Challenge. It is a challenge to complete a task with the babies that once would have been easy and now takes quite a bit more thought and planning. It is also a twinge in the traditional definition of the word, as it can feel like a “sudden sharp localized pain” as the anxiety monster flexes its muscles and bullies me into bending to its will. I will not let this monster take over my life any longer! In order to beat it, I must Twinge! This is why I created this blog, to give myself a platform to talk about and hold myself accountable to this new mindset.

The following posts are these real life Twinges, or Twin Challenges that I am setting up for myself. I will tell you about the challenge, will talk about why it’s a Twinge, meaning why it seems difficult, will tell you my plan, and lastly will let you know if it was a win, fail, or partial success. If I fail, I MUST try again. If I win, I will celebrate, but will not bore you by repeating the same challenge over and over.

I hope you, whoever you may be, enjoy these experiences and come away inspired to tackle your own challenges.