How to: Successful Steemit post

in #tutorial7 years ago (edited)


Phase 1: The most important and difficult part of creating a world changing Steemit post is to analyze society and the needs of the population. Finding out the current struggle of humanity is crucial in coming up with a topic that will change the world itself.

For example: Humanity is constantly suffering from death, yes you heard me right. Death is the biggest reason people die. How can we stop it? 3000 years humans were immortal, but there were a few assholes that had to ruin all. Remember Sodom and Gomorrah? Yeah me neither, it was washed down and completely obliterated by the absolute ruler of the universe after some dipshit motherfuckers had to break the only rule, which is not to sin.

cough
sorry my asthma acting up again.gif

Well, there we have the problem. Now the question is to find a solution for this problem. But for that, we have to research, now you may ask, what the fuck is research?

Listen here, you dipshit cunt. For what hath nature given you thy brain?

Simple Google is the greatest invention. The best gift we have been blessed with by our absolute ruler, after the annihilation of Sodom and Gomorrah of course.

**Solution: ** Freeze yourself cryogenically.

Isn't that a cute icicle?
There you have it folks. Problem solved.

**Phase 2: ** Now that we have overcome our greatest obstacle, nothing can stop us anymore.
After finishing your masterpiece, you might want to find a suitable name for your work of art, to attract the attention it deserves.
Simple degenerates may now think of #Clickbait. But we all know clickbait is trash. You don't want to decorate the trash you are throwing away, do you? People will think of you as nothing more than a maniac.
You are not crazy right? So we have to think of a better way to disguise our trash as something beautiful, oh did I say trash?

Nevermind that.

Think about your topic and name it accordingly and then turn it around 180°. You haven't expected that, eh? Fucking brilliant I must admit.

**Phase 3: ** Now that you have gained infinite amount of fame, what else is there for you to do?
You have achieved everything you dreamed of, but there is a slight problem.
The post you have worked so hard on, it loses popularity.
IdenticalFarflungFluke.gif
Oh noooo you sad little fuck
But, like Adolf Hitler once said, "There is a solution for everything" shortly before he killed himself.

Think about Jesus, what would Jesus do?

Yes, Christianity would have NEVER been so popular, if Jesus remained alive.

Ever heard of Martyrdom? Jesus, Picasso and even Adolf Hitler every great artist in the history of this sad pathetic excuse of a planet, their work became famous after death.

**Solution: ** Die in a horrible tragic accident, so you will never be forgotten.

Maybe someday people will worship you, create a cult and doom the entirety of humanity.

Thanks for your attention
This is your Prophet, signing out.

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