Reflections Of My Former Self
We appear to live in the age of the self-righteous, the vitriolic and egotistic, but I wonder that if everyone is right, then who is wrong? And if nobody is wrong then are we doomed to spin in ever decreasing circles? As I navigate my way through the hall of mirrors we term life, I recall that I can relate to such egotism, within the expressions of the narcissist I see an unfiltered reflection of my former self. I built a shield around myself that no word or action could pierce, my body was strong, my mind was sharp and my acid-tongued humour cut like a razor. I was also confrontational and possessed a fighting spirit that would never allow me to turn the other cheek.
My humour was akin to my boxing style, and when embroiled in one of my legendary banter or piss-taking sessions I would come at you throwing everything I had. I would tie my adversaries up in so many knots that they would stumble over their words and become reduced to a laughing stock. I was too harsh!! The wall may have protected me, but it also blinded me to the power of my words and the effect they had upon others.
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Moving On
I have since lived a very colourful life, first hand I’ve seen both the good and the evil that men do. I’ve seen the bad become good and the do-gooders behave badly, life is seldom as simplistic as the labels and personas we assume. How willingly we sacrifice the gift of the individual perspective to the altar of collective identity. So self-righteous are we to allow our group think to dehumanise those that fail to adhere to our idealism. Little do we understand that in the long run the people we most hurt through our negative actions and interactions are ourselves; they destroy our ability to empathise and self reflect, for the mirror of self-reflection heralds no image for the eyes of the narcissist.
We get caught up in over analysing the beliefs and opinions of others, whilst at the same time refusing to analyse our own behavioral patterns. Nobody is perfect in this world, not you, not I, and certainly not those that feel as though they have all the answers. By believing themselves to be right, the narcissist fails to understand the validity of being wrong, they stifle their growth and suffocate those that fail to align themselves to their beliefs. Personally, I would rather be united in intent than divided by details.
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Our transient egotistic foundations of sand will one day fall to the winds of change; one day we will all be left naked, our hearts exposed for the world to see. How you want to be seen/remembered is your decision to make, my decision has been made and I’ve surrendered self-gain and the gratification of the ego to the path of humility. Life has humbled me and in humility, I have found both an insight and compassion that I wouldn’t trade for all the wealth and power of the world. I am nobody and yet I am everybody, and by participating in this dance we call life, every cell in my body and every fibre of my being is resonating as the magnum opus of creation.
The path of humility is not an expression of weakness, indeed we (as a species) have an inverted perception of power. We fail to understand that if our power is derived from overpowering then it is a reflection of our inner weakness and insecurity. We fail to understand the nature and power of anger. Whilst I may turn the other cheek, if in my daily life someone tries to exert their will against/over me, then my anger will be justified and they will run into a brick wall. Justified anger is both far more powerful and a wholly different entity to self-serving and unjustified rage. Just anger can change the world, rage without justification will destroy it.
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Getting To The Point
So is there a point to my words? I guess there has to be. When I joined #steemit it was the philosophy and the free exchange of ideas that drew me here. The site whispered a promise that captivated my imagination, the anticipation and excitement that swirled around its premise was palpable. The infectious collective energy of thousands of enquiring minds and firing synapses was both electric and magnetic. There are some amazing people on this platform; people that extol the very best virtues of a humanity that is too often absent within our greater society. Sadly in our race to the lowest common denominator, these voices of reason are increasingly drowned out.
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Regular readers will know that I have been busy with moving house and a subsequent renovation. I haven’t been online as much and when I return it’s like stepping into the twilight zone, where I used to seek inspiration I now find venom and vitriol. There are times when I have been angered and have had to pull myself back from reverting to type, stopping myself being drawn into the shouting matches and arguments, for what would it achieve? Another angry voice shouting into the wind, don’t we have enough of those?
Final Thoughts
The site is morphing into a microcosm of the problems many of us came here to escape, every aspect of society (the good, bad and the ugly) is playing out in real time and in full view. For someone like myself (a student of psychology) I suppose it has a morbid curiosity, but equally I can’t help but lament the divisive nature of the human condition.
I guess I just wanted to politely voice my dissatisfaction with current events, to say that I feel/I felt that we are better than this. In sharing my thoughts, the narcissists, the serial and ideological flaggers (and there are many) may see elements of themselves within my words and in turn flag me into oblivion, so be it. The world is a theatre and within that context, we all have our parts to play, the stage is set and the curtain is rising, what role will you assume?
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As sands of time fall between
our fingers
our shadows dance across
the sun
I ponder should we live
each day
as if we have just one?
How sweet the smell of the
wilting rose
that will not be smelt again
how sad the lust
for power and control
that perverts the minds
of men.
Thank you for taking the time to read my post, until next time I will leave you to decide who has the perceptualflaws.
Written by perceptualflaws
Gifs courtesy of giphy.com
Banner Gifs courtesy of @justcallmemyth
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The first spam comment you received is a sad testament to the ethos of the post.
Your thoughts are an eloquent reflection of my own as we discussed in our conversation last week and indicative of the way many of us who started here a couple of years ago currently feel.
It seems that Steemit has reached a fork in the road and the choice the community makes at this point will be pivotal to the ultimate success or failure of the platform.
I have no idea which path it will choose but my instinct tells me there is more good here than bad so I’m hopeful however that is also true of the world itself and look how that’s working out right now.
Steemit is acting in tandem with the way our societies are currently, rife with division and petty squabbles as people seek to censor each other for difference of opinion and take sides in tit for tat flag wars.
Fundamental changes are a must IMO and if flagging and vote buying are here to stay then I don’t see a bright future for those who wish to speak their truth however obscene or disagreeable some may find it as the powerful will crush the weak.
Freedom to speak my truth and debate it with both those who agreed and disagreed is why I came but I saw the writing on the wall 12 months ago and decided to take a break from posting, I haven’t created a post since as it has become a fucking freak show I wanted no part of.
I’m happy to support those I respect and drop the odd comment and will write again if things change.
I’m not holding my breath mate.
Great post.
Hey my friend, hope you're looking forward to a good weekend! Always appreciate our conversations dude :) Like yourself, I really feel as though the platform has reached a watershed moment .. perhaps there will be a parting of the ways? I don't know, but I do know that the format feels pretty broken (and with a nod to our greater society) heavily weighted in the favour of those that have already accumulated vast arrays of steem. What is the old saying "power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely"? .. it's quite interesting from a psychological perspective .. to observe the roles that people assume, but from a business/marketing analysis it's certainly not doing us any favours.
In many ways, as much as co-operation is seen as a cornerstone of a successful society, constructive disagreement is equally imperative. The world can be changed been by the civilised challenge and debate of dogmatic principles .. drowning out opposing perspectives and shouting into echo chambers does not bode well for the future of our species.
Like you say though, there are far more good on here than bad .. although I suppose the same can also be said for our greater society and still the madmen run amok. At least on here, the reward/flag format could be structured in such a way that it impedes abuse of the system. I will remain hopeful that there is an answer .. not least because I feel that #steemit (even if people aren't aware) is a kind of social experiment/test that points to our ability to feed and clothe ourselves outside of the machinations of the system .. and you know with the world being in pretty dire financial straights and the boom/bust cycle being a key component of our monetary system .. if we can't make a new system work (and I mean that in a broader context than just #steemit) then I fear (in banking terms) we will get what we deserve. Thanks (as always) for the great comment dude .. look forward to catching up soon. :)
I have long been unsettled by the aphorism you relate here, 'power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely', but never really was able to refine my unease until just now.
I disagree with it because I see examples of good folks empowered that do not become corrupted by it. What I do see is that the corrupt seek power, so they can abuse it. I observe that power attracts the corrupt, and absolute power is seized by the utterly corrupt.
We lament that the many good people in the world are overwhelmed by the relatively corrupt few that have sought and seized power to do harm to others to benefit themselves, and this is a result of how power is attained and effected. Generally IRL and on Steem platforms, it is stake-weighting through which power is effected, and seizing funds how it is attained.
Thus the concept of democracy is a rudimentary attempt to prevent stake-weighting to wield power over good but poor people. Machinations of the corrupt however corrupt political mechanisms, and so IRL oppression and profiteering result. So on Steem, via the same mechanisms: profiteering and extortion.
But DLTs and global communications are novel technologies, and potentiate novel solutions to ancient problems. While Steem may be too structured so as to effect stake-weighting, which has enabled the corrupt to extort and disenfranchise the principled, it is but an initial implementation of this technology, and open source at that.
If Steem cannot be a venue for just society due to structural faults, new implementations that avoid those faults certainly will be developed, and in time, as we gain understanding of how corruption is empowered to effect harm, we'll use this new technology wisely - humbly - to prevent power from being seized at the expense of principled folks that won't do harm for it.
If not today, soon.
Yes I agree, it is a throwaway statement doesn't withstand scrutiny .. funnily enough, after I wrote that comment my friend called and told me that in the town where I used to live there is a mysterious multi-millionaire that has been handing out cash to the disenfranchised, he keeps his ear to the ground and if he hears about people in trouble, he has been posting money (in fairly large amounts) through peoples letterboxes, he has been hiding money in newspapers (just to put a smile on peoples faces), sticking out of cash machines and slipping it into OAP's bags. And then I return to your message .. thank you for the reminder, we all need it once in a while. :)
Hey Buddy, I had a bit of a glitch in my system and replied to your reply to someone else
see below
What a tool 😂😂😂
Steemit could well be going through something like the terrible two’s or the annoying rhetoric of a obnoxious teenager, you just have to hope that they turn out right in the end.
As we’ve discussed before, it’s hard to see Steemit seemingly morphing into the kind of bullshit social media cesspool we came here to avoid.
As you know I’ve never had any social media accounts and I never really considered Steemit to be social media in the true sense however if I came here now and spent a few days checking it out I’d have less interest in becoming part of it which is a shame as there was a time when I had high hopes that it could be the beginning of the end for the now highly censored Fakebook.
I really hope I’m wrong for the sake of all those people who are creating communities, reporting real news and worthwhile content.
They deserve better.......
As always my friend .. the words nail and head spring to mind .. and yes they really do deserve better. :(
I echo the other comment that it’s sad that the first comment here is a spam comment that’s also full of hate and vitriol. It’s a sad state of affairs but I try not to get too into those weeds.
There are some great authors in here like yourself that I appreciate. I haven’t had time to post any lately either but I have seen an increase in the fighting. It can be worse on here because of large accounts that can easily down vote posts into oblivion whereas FB and their ilk rely on algorithms to do that work. It’s a sad part of the human condition but people enjoy being a bully. They got bullied in real life and can’t do anything about it there so they come here and they bully people since they have the strength to.
It’s so petty but it’s the same people that are doing it, it’s like wtf just stop and get over it, life’s short.
Hope those renovations are going well! I’m going to start them up in April, needed to take a break for a while. Hoping our son will cooperate more so it will go smoother than it did last year lol he just cried the whole time (<2 at the time, hoping since he’s older it will fare better)
Looking forward to your next deep post!
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Hey my friend, hope you've been well .. yeah it's been really sad to see all the bullshit that's been going on here. I kind of have a feeling as though a crypto by the people and for the people is our last role at the dice, our last chance to detach ourselves from a failing monetary system. In that respect we could view #steemit as (depending upon your perspective) a trial run or a test .. and you know if we can't find a way to make this new space/system work (which was actually doing a pretty good at drawing an eclectic group of people together, that were originally united by intent) well you know, in banking terms we'll get what we deserve.
I think that the construct of the platform needs to change, like the greater society it's too weighted in the favour of those that have already accumulated vast arrays of wealth. Equally, a cursory glance at trending posts filled with shit will highlight the hesitation prospective investors may have towards transferring some of their wealth/crypto holdings into steem. It would seem to me that there are opposing forces that are pulling in different directions, perhaps one aspect are attempting to physically go in a different direction, I don't know .. but I guess we'll see how it plays out.
The renovations are slowly coming together .. with a strong emphasis on the slow lol Good luck with yours :) I have a couple of pretty big/deep posts planned .. but I just need to get the format of my book straight in my head before I put my mind to another subject. Catch you soon dude!
The failing monetary system will need to implode biblically for most people to admit a change is even required such is the collective blindness and cognitive dissonance to the real problem deliberately built within it.
TPTB are so adept in deception that the collapse will most likely be paradoxically chaotic and controlled to ensure those at the top profit from the economic devastation at the expense of those below.
Following that anything could happen, the masses could gather together to demand that decentralised blockchain solutions are adopted to ensure fair governance and mediums of exchange or they could be corralled by their government overlords using the favoured Hegelian dialectic fear mongering into an even more centralised control system with centralised blockchain currency, UBI, implanted RFID chips and all manner of Orwellian hideousness guaranteeing their perpetual slavery!
My money is on the latter.....
Good luck with the reno’s Dude 👊😎
Beautifully said. People like you @cmplxty are why I stay.💜💜💜
It is terribly disheartening to see the feuds, the flag wars, the childish name calling and the number of amazing people its driven from the platform. When I first arrived here almost 2 years ago and saw the calibre of some of the writing and the number of people busy forming communities, running competitions and fund raising for others, I believed we could create something much better than a microcosm of the real world.
I still hope that we are better than pasting 100 shitty pictures on other people’s posts and I take some solace in the number of stalwarts still here working to improve things. But perhaps the divisive nature of the human condition can only ever produce societies rife with division so that here, as in the real world, the mutual tolerance, respect and cooperation so many of us profess to want, will always be beyond our reach.
Hey my friend .. hope you're looking forward to a good weekend. It really is disheartening to see all the people that have been driven from the platform .. equally if you're here as a writer, the bullshit kind of destroys that creative spark .. it becomes more difficult to find inspiration within such an environment. I think there is still a strong will to be better than the sum of our parts .. I just feel that the format needs to change to accomodate such idealism. I agree with the divisive nature of the human condition .. but I watch/study people (not in the peeping tom sense lol) and I feel that these divisions are manipulated and kind of hardwired into us .. for me the truth of who we are (who we can be) exists in the flurry of the moment. You know when people see someone in need (they have had an accident etc) the overall knee jerk reaction of people is to help (often putting themselves at great danger) and for me that is the true unfiltered nature of who we are .. hence all the divisive bullshit it saddens me, because I know what we could be and what we could achieve. Thanks for the great comment @deirdyweirdy
I am struck by the dissonance between the strategy of corruption, which seeks to decrease the power of others so that it's own is relatively greater, and beneficence, which seeks to increase the power of others so that together we are stronger.
When we gain understanding of the mechanisms through which these strategies are effected, and develop code that deploys that wisdom, these petty powerplays will become obsolete. Real power has always been created by mutual beneficence.
Corruption always weakens everyone.
Over time evolutionary forces will demonstrate this reality and better society will result from better implementations of the blockchain.
I am struck by how the strategies of corruption, which seek to diminish the power of others so that their own power is relatively greater, and beneficence, which seeks to increase the power of others so that together we can become stronger, contrast.
As we gain understanding of the mechanisms that enable corruption and beneficence, primarily stake-weighting, particularly on Steem, we will see implementations of the blockchain that prevent corruption and prompt beneficence. If Steem cannot be reformed to solve these challenges, new implementations of this very new technology will.
Evolutionary forces will demonstrate that societies that mutually reinforce each other create greater power, and those the undermine each other decrease their strength.
It's just a matter of time and incremental improvement to the technology.
This post has been selected for curation by @msp-curation by @clayboyn and has been upvoted and will be featured in the weekly philosophy curation post. It will also be considered for the official @minnowsupport curation post and if selected will be resteemed from the main account. Feel free to join us on Discord!
Thank you @claybon & @msp-curation .. I really appreciate the support.
A wonderful article. SPOT on!
Let the spam begin.
Thank you @sequentialvibe .. I didn't want to be part of a shouting match or add to the division, equally I feel this has gone on long enough and that I could no longer bite my tongue .. there are so many good people on here and it's frustrating to see their hopes and aspirations destroyed by negativity. Thanks again my friend.
Superb article, and full of honesty.
If I may add a few thoughts to this.
I have noticed also that even among the brightest & the visionaries on here, the people you would assume or expect to be the least easily offended, it is not so, you write one thing someone does not like, regardless of subject matter and boom, no more votes or interactions.
I speak to people on here that have the totally opposite view to me on some subjects, I appreciate they have a unique view, based on their own experience, and I respect their individual right to think differently from me. It seems I am a minority though, as most on here, as in life, want echo chambers, and people around them that do nothing but agree.
This for me is the single biggest problem society faces, mob rules, without a clue.
I observe that the ability of the corrupt to seize Steem increases their power, and this creates enemies of those that oppose that mechanism. Conversely, your own intent to be of benefit to others creates friends of those with different views, because that increases your own understanding.
Effecting mechanisms that reduce incentive for the former behaviour, and increase incentive to be beneficial, will dramatically alter the dynamic and increase the benefits to society of our interactions. This principle conforms to reality, and how mutual aid increases the strength of all, and corruption and profiteering decreases the strength of the community. Natural forces will preferentially favor the latter over the former, and as development continues our circumstances are certain to improve.
If not Steem, then better mechanisms will eventuate, and probably soon.
Thank you my friend .. in terms of honesty, I just don't want people to ever think that I'm speaking from some kind of ivory tower, I'm not perfect .. but each day I try to be a better man .. but still I acknowledge that we are all stumbling our way through life. All I have is a perspective and a good intent behind that perspective .. some like it/some don't (such is life) but I wouldn't be true to myself if I didn't follow my own path.
In terms of the echo chambers that you allude to .. yes I couldn't agree more. As I have previously written about, its my belief that the algorithms that have been unleashed upon the net are dividing the populace into categories and in turn are quite literally nudging people towards the extremes of their belief systems, in turn rewiring the social construct of our society. People are increasingly cocooned within their personal digital nirvana and as such this is feeding self-righteous arrogance .. because anyone that doesn't agree with you must be thick, or a sheep .. right?
Yes I couldn't agree more .. it is both insidious and extremely dangerous to any semblance of a cohesive society, sadly I fear it is also deliberate. Thanks again for the great comment @shepz1
Love you. Don't go. The spam is driving me crazy too... the one here is a case in point.... I've been wanting to write a post about it but have been la la la with it... pretending it doesn't exist. I wish there could be something done about it as it's wrecking the platform.
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Hey my friend love you too :) .. hope you're well. You know when I joined #steemit it was after the death of someone very close to me .. apart from writing his eulogy, it was the first time that I'd (publicly) written anything for about twenty years. The platform gave me my voice and as such (whatever happens) it will always hold a special place in my heart. I voice these opinions not as a "fuck you #steemit" .. but because I care about the platform and the people that are trying to make a difference, people like yourself. Unfortunately, whatever the rights and wrongs, angrily shouting at each other just isn't going to cut it .. there will be no winners.
I'll still be around my friend and I'm glad that you're staying .. I just need to get this renovation finished and I'm committed to writing my book, but I'll still be sharing music/thoughts and ideas .. or depending upon your perspective ramblings lol As for getting something changed .. perhaps as in the events of the real world .. the negative could also be viewed as pushing us towards a change that benefits us all .. every cloud and all that. ;)
You're spot on that many of us came here to escape more deranged aspects of society, and particularly those most in evidence on other social media.
However, society is composed of people, and people, as you note, are deranged to greater or lesser degrees. It's unrealistic to expect that derangement not to affect us here. It is however, entirely reasonable to expect Steem to enable us to better resolve the issues such derangement brings to the fore.
I cannot agree more strongly that humility is the key to wisdom. It is a truism of the most brilliant minds humanity has produced that the more we learn, the more we know how little we know, and this strongly recommends we eschew hubris so that we can be rational.
Steem is a technology, and technology increases our ability to effect our purposes. Given the strong societal focus of Steem, this new technology should increase our ability to reason with one another, to be kind and supportive, and to reduce incentive to harm each the other long too easily undertaken in the world.
Take heart my friend, that we take these first steps into uncharted territory that novel technology has revealed to us, wherein we might grow stronger together, and reduce the harm the less enlightened amongst exert.
Thanks!
Hey my friend, thank you for taking the time to lend your perspective.
Yes, that is a very valid and pertinent point and it's one I very much agree with. I certainly didn't come here expecting (or indeed wanting) some form of nirvana where nobody argued or disagreed .. such discourse is expected and very healthy. I guess where I was naive was that I believed it would be a site where we could freely exchange ideas and debate our opposing perspectives within some form of level playing ground .. I didn't realise that the construct of the system benefitted the few as opposed to the many, and that the few (literally) heralded the power to ideologically destroy your account and all your work. I was naive and I have zero problems admitting that my errors were born out of idealism.
I won't say it's a misplaced idealism (although I think I was jumping the gun a bit) because as you also allude to, such technology (and indeed the premise behind it) is in its infancy .. as such this is all a learning curve and with the right will and skillset I very much believe that we can create a platform (whether its here or elsewhere) that mutually benefits us all. I guess I've just been waiting for this change/awakening to happen for so long, that I originally overlooked the shortcomings of the site. It's just frustrating because (despite all the horror stories and division) I have so much faith in humanity. Despite our oft skewed and manipulated perception of the world .. that there are so many more good people than bad, and that together we can achieve something incredible.
Equally, whatever direction the site takes, I have met some amazing people on here .. intelligent and compassionate individuals (such as yourself) that have renewed my faith in our ability to create a brighter/better and more balanced future. Although (in the wider world) it's looking pretty barren out there, and that in order to retain control the power structure is going to try every trick in the book and that for a time this will make life very difficult .. I also feel that the seeds of change have already been sown .. whether they will bloom in my lifetime, I don't know .. but what I do know is that I'm going to do my very best to water and nuture them. :) Thanks again @valued-customer
Brilliant! When the moments frequently present themselves, most importantly in the presence of children, I often say, "humility is good for the soul". That mindset would help solve so many of the world's ills. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for the support and kind/wise words @ppmsilver .. its much appreciated!
Everybody thinks they’re right. The only difference is that some people make sure they’re right. The good people do their research and make sure they’re not wrong no matter what. The bad eggs of this world believe they’re right no matter what and will silence and push down others that don’t fit into their idea of what “right” is and would rather stay ignorant. There will be a test soon, most likely an economic one brought on by crypto, that will probably shift power to the people who are actually right.
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Hey my friend, yes I agree .. the system is broken, once you understand the scientific method you will see that elements (not all) of said method are also both broken and manipulated. We recently had a newspaper article (signed by 50 scientists) asking the UK government to lapse it's safety regulations around fracking in the heavily populated south-east of England .. research revealed that nearly all 50 were employed by said industry, the paper (The Guardian) never mentioned that little nugget of information.
Research and due diligence are now both a moral responsibility and an answer to those that serve their ignorance as your stupidity. Of course, outside research .. we should also (as long as it's framed in such a manner) have the freedom to speculate on different ideas. I'm very much with you on the economic front and in terms of crypto for the people and by the people .. I feel it is a race to the finish line (the system are at our heels) and that is why I feel that the #steemit social experiment (although the context that I'm discussing is broader and transcends a single platform) is far more important than many will realise. Thanks again for the great comment @star-man