Relocation should be enriching

It is not easy to leave family, friends and familiarity and relocate to a new country. I know this because in the last ten years, I have lived in five countries ranging from 6 months to 4 years, and the reasons for relocation included job opportunity, adventure or learning a language. Each country enriched me in its own way, and I welcomed their differences as much as I welcomed their similarities. According to the 2016 MoveHub report, most people who relocate do so for work opportunities.

Despite so many people relocating for work opportunities, most expats still choose to completely disassociate themselves from the place they are living in and its people. They live in gated communities, eat from the same restaurants as back home and are friends with other expats. In other words, they welcome the monetary opportunities of this new country, but are not interesting in its culture, language or anything else. This often creates intolerance as well as utter ignorance of the country they are living in. In fact, some expats live in a foreign country for 5, 10 or 15 years, and leave not having learned the language, the culture or even made friends except expats.

I have personally experienced this when I worked in Saudi for four years. The most popular sport amongst expats was culture bashing. So whatever they didn't understand or like, they'd mock or complain about. Their idea of relocation was, 'We want the same as back home.' In other words, many expats want the 'good' of their new home, and good meant whatever was aligned with their values or way of life. One of my American colleagues was textbook definition of a whiner. For example, if her driver was late, her alarm didn't go off on time or her coffee was not hot enough, she blamed Saudi and Saudis. I shared an office with her and few other colleagues at the university I worked at, and I'd often block her whining with my headphones. Her negative energy was so contagious so one day I had enough. I turned to her and told her that if Saudi was so bad , why didn't she just leave? Surely one can't hate a place that much and still remain in it. Deep down, what I wanted to say to her was, 'Where is the invisible gun to your head forcing you to be here?"

Relax, you are going to Saudi, not Hell!

Once I was boarding a flight from London to Jeddah when I noticed a young man in the Business Class. I noticed him because there was a look of horror on his face. It seemed like he had been given the death penalty, or worse, a one-way ticket to Hell! I could tell right away it was his first time going to Saudi, and as I walked past him, I was tempted to tell him to cheer up. I realized that I had been in the same situation as that young man many times. However, whenever I was relocating, I was excited to experience the new and magical things that awaited me. I imagined what lessons I would learn, how I would grow as a person, what challenges I would have to learn to overcome, how I would relate to the locals, how my experience would shape my outlook ,what memories would stay with me for a lifetime and hopefully what unique stories I would be able to share with others.

On the other hand, I was always concerned and nervous about starting a new life somewhere I didn't know anyone. As a woman, I always have to think about my safety and ensure I do not place myself in situations that could bring me harm. However, we should not confuse apprehension with prejudice. Most expats relocate to a new country expecting the worst. They go with an air of superiority and divorce themselves from their new country and its people. My experiences have taught me that it really doesn't matter whether a person relocates to Italy, Senegal, Kuwait, Nepal or Iceland; what matters is the attitude they take with them.

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