This is Thailand: Practical Guide

Everybody who is fascinated by Thailand notices a joy emanating from its citizens, which is manifested by a smile that is never far from a Thai face. My story, however, shows that not everything is golden what shines and in order to know the country, you need more than two weeks on a beach. Despite many sleepless nights, nerves, stress and uncertainty of tomorrow, these 18 months in Thailand gave me many beautiful experiences, which I would never have had had I remained chained to my corporate desk and travelled to the unknown. If you think the same thing, but don’t know where to start, this guide is for you.

How to prepare for the journey?

Obviously you can’t fully prepare for all of the adventures that will await you in such an exotic country. That doesn’t mean, however, that you should go completely unprepared. If you go to Thailand for reasons other than holiday, you should know something about the country, its culture and the realities of life. If it’s your first contact with Thailand, start by studying one of the many travel guides. Focus on general chapters about the history, culture, current affairs and practical advice.

Read about the places which interest you as potential places to study (TEFL course) and work. For the dessert, you can read other chapters to start planning which places you see in your future career as a teacher. Start looking at websites about Thailand, there are plenty. I recommend ajarn.com which is a great database for current job gigs and hundreds of articles about living and working in Thailand. Study carefully to get orientation on what it is like to live, work and study in Thailand. For entertainment, I recommend movies like “Hangover 2: Bangkok”; “Bangkok Dangerous”; or “The Beach”. No one who seriously thinks about living in Thailand should ignore the great novels of John Burdett, namely: Bangkok 8; Bangkok Tattoo; Bangkok Haunts; and The Godfather of Kathmandu.

Qualifications

Well, you have to speak English! And I am not talking here about a passing knowledge that you can get from any college course in any country. You have to fluently communicate in English and feel comfortable in an English-speaking environment. An ideal candidate for Thais is of course an English native speakers, a person who was born and raised in an English-speaking country. In many job ads, this will be specifically highlighted, ensuring that the institution only employs candidates from English-speaking countries. Don’t worry about this requirement too much, as for most Thais, a native speaker is an English-speaking farang. Slightly lower in preference is an English-speaking Caucasian. If you are not a native speaker, there is not better school to improve your language skills than spending a year living in an English-speaking country. I am talking about working in an environment where usage of the language everyday is a requirement of the job. If you are not sure of your language skills, but still want to follow in my footsteps, perhaps it would be good to spend a year in an English-speaking country? If your language abilities are far from perfect and you don’t feel that you would do a good job, have a serious think. It will be more difficult to find and keep a job. If you have low qualifications, you re not really acting fairly towards your students. I know cases of teachers, however, who have managed to get jobs at universities even though their language ability was not entirely fluent. So it’s possible, but it’s risky.

Another requirement is at least a finished college degree in any field. If you want to teach at university level, you must have a Master’s degree, but I know cases of teachers working in universities before they officially completed their Master’s. Bachelor and Master’s degrees are also your gateway to getting a business visa and work permit. Without complete studies, it is difficult to find a legal job. Of course, you can work illegally on a tourist visa ( a few months’ stay is allowed) or an educational one (even up to 10 years’ stay is allowed), signing up, for example, for a course of Thai language. Many people do that and many people succeed. I haven’t heard of any stories about foreigners being arrested or deported for working illegally. It doesn’t mean, however, that it doesn’t happen. Remember that illegal workers don’t have rights and are often abused by their employer in one way or another. You might not receive your salary and you could get yourself into trouble. No one will help you if you don’t have the right papers.

A rumor goes around that a diploma in English, American Studies or Pedagogy helps in finding a job. I’m not sure if it’s true, as I am a graduate of Political Science and International Peace Studies. That’s what they say in the city.

You must get your TEFL Certificate. Period. Believe me. No one cares if you have a PhD in English Studies from Yale University, or have taught English in New York for the last ten years. Thais love formalities. You don’t have a TEFL certificate, you are not a teacher. As simple as that. I know a story of a European guy (non-native speaker), who had a very high linguistic-based education and a lot of experience as a professional translator. He spent 6 months looking for a job and had no luck. If he had invested time and money in a TEFL course, he would have saved 3-4 months worth of savings by picking up a job straight-away. Hide your pride and sign up for a 4-week TEFL course. It would be best, if you are intending to beginning your teaching career here, to do it in Thailand. Forget about online or weekend courses organized in western countries. It’s a waste of time and money. You will not learn a lot and your papers will not be respected in the Land of Smiles. I did my course in Phuket, in TEFL International (www.teflcourse.net). It had its pros and cons about which I wrote in the second chapter of this book. What’s most important, however, is that I received my certificate and that it was respected in Thailand. I also gained skills which proved useful in my short career as a teacher.

Skills and Character

Remind yourself of your last public speech during college in front of your friends. How did you feel? Panicked? Stressed? Nervous? Remember that teaching means everyday appearances in public. Everyday you will be looking into the eyes of Asian dudes that you don’t know and who come from a COMPLETELY different culture from yours. You will talk to them. A lot. If the thought of this makes you sweat profusely, then forget it. For yours and their good. If until today you managed your speeches quite well, remember that practice makes perfect. If it will make you feel better, take a few lessons in the country of your origin. Or go ahead and never give up. After a week of intensive work, you will get used to it. Running a lesson will be for you as easy as eating breakfast.

You don’t have to speak Thai to live and work in Thailand, despite of the fact that Thais generally don't speak a good level of English. The majority of your communication will be non-verbal. It’s good to get familiar with a couple of words or phrases prior to arrival and it will make the transition a whole lot easier. Consider signing up for a Thai course. Learning Thai is a long and difficult process, but every new word will make your Thai adventure more fulfilling, interesting and satisfying.

What else is needed? It’s helpful to be tough and brave and an ability to improvise in unexpected situations, have strong nerves and high tolerance against things that are difficult to understand or comprehend. You also have to realize that almost everything here is different from in your country. Some things work better, others worse. In comparison with Thai shopping malls, yours might look bleak. In comparison with Bangkok’s skytrain or MRT, New York’s Subway system looks old and inefficient. It doesn’t change the fact that every year Thailand is hit by serious floods and no one knows what to do about it, the political situation is unstable, the water is nearly always cold and powercuts are an almost daily occurrence. Constant attempts to compare everything to European standards, will eventually make you nuts and will probably cause you to run back home to your mum.

How to find an apartment in Thailand

Finding an apartment in Thailand is not difficult. First you must, of course, decide where you want to live. The most popular, but not only, locations are Bangkok, Pattaya, Chiang Mai and Phuket. In Bangkok, it’s good to start with a rental that isn’t longer than one month in one of the city centers, close to the Skytrain or MRT. Thailand’s capital city is huge and it doesn’t make sense to sign a long agreement if you don’t know where your place of work will be. Finding something for a short period of time, next to the best transport guarantees two things: a possibility of fast relocation if a future job is elsewhere and easiness for travelling when looking for a job. Living close to the main transport routes is also useful if your place of work is near to these lines. Dusit Thani College, where I worked, was almost 10 kilometers from On Nut skytrain station. Living somewhere in the city with good transport connections would have been pointless. This is why I decided to live in a neighbourhood located just five minutes on motorbike from the college.

The most popular apartment-hunting website in Thailand is www.mrroomfinder.com. It’s also worth taking a look at the ads on the pages of the two biggest English-language dailies – www.bangkokpost.com and www.nationmultimedia.com. Prior to arrival, it’s worth signing up to www.couchsurfing.org, where permanent and temporary residents can offer you a place to stay for a few days. A discussion forum on this website is also a good place to enquire about potential apartment and rooms. This is what I did. One of the users recommended www.galleriasubway.com, where I decided to stay for the first month of my time in Bangkok. The apartment block was located just a ten minute walk from the MRT Huai Khwang station. Thanks to this, most of the city center was within easy reach. You can spend your first few weeks in Thailand in a hostel or a hotel, depending on your budget. Don’t forget to ask the owners if they know anything about flats or rooms for rent nearby. Ask in bars, restaurants, shops. Find a friend who will quickly help you find a bed to sleep in.

After finding a job, it’s a good idea to move close to your place of work. If you want it or not, most of your time will be spent at work. It is easier and cheaper to live closer to your work and to avoid the dreaded traffic-jams on your way to and from work. If you are lucky enough that your work is located next to a Skytrain or MRT station, make sure that you don’t have to use both modes of transport to get there. A combination of these two, twice a day, can cost 5 dollars a day. Considering that you will usually work 20 days a month, you could lose more than 100 dollars a month. For this kind of money, you can rent a small flat in another area or spend the night with a girl from Soi Cowboy.

It’s good to remember that teaching is a demanding job and that your house should be an oasis of peace, where you can relax after a day at work. If you go for a small flat with no air-conditioning and an Asian squat toilet, you can probably get something for as little as 100 dollars a month. Be prepared though for bad smells, children shouting and fights behind the walls, late-night parties and police paying regular visits. There were some nice apartments near my college for as little as 150 dollars. For 200 dollars, I had a nice studio in a new building, and for 250 I got a two bedroom apartment with two bathrooms, two balconies, a kitchen and a living room. Just to give you an idea of the prices.

Chiang Mai is the second biggest city in Thailand. Use the same rules as Bangkok, but remember that there is no MRT or Skytrain here. If you want to live in Pattaya, remember that it is a (sex) tourist resort and it might be more difficult to find jobs here than in other places. The rules of looking for an apartment there are the same as in Bangkok and Chiang Mai, but the city is much smaller than the two named above. Phuket is an island. While going there, you have to decide exactly where you want to live. I recommend starting in Phuket Town, where finding a job and getting a reasonable flat is easier than in other places.

How to find a job in Thailand

You have to be active in looking for work. Of course you can attack interesting ads on www.ajarn..com or other well-known websites like www.eslcafe.com or “Bangkok Post” (www.bangkok post.com) or “The Nation” (www.nationmultimedia.com). Remember, however, that everybody is doing the exact same thing and competition is stiff. Only the best win. At least according to the Thai way of judging the situation.

I was determined to teach in a university and didn’t wait for the job to come to me. I made a list of all of the universities in Bangkok, got contacts for most of them and sent my application. Only one responded... the place I got the job! Do you want to teach kindergarten? Make a list of kindergartens and send your application. Are you interested in primary or secondary schools? Public or private? Or maybe you want to teach in one of the well-know chains of schools? Find them on the internet, and send your application. Do not wait for them to advertise. It will probably be too late.

Creating a resume with your future, Thai employer will be explained in detail on your TEFL course. In general, try to make it short and sweet. Focus on your education and presentation skills. Add an attractive photo in formal attire. Most applications without photos are automatically rejected.

When you go for an interview, remember that, despite the relaxing atmosphere and smiles, Thailand is a land of formalities. Put your suit on, white shirt and a tie, or a modest, toned office uniform if you are a female. In Thailand you have to “overdress to impress”.

The last thing when it comes to work is MONEY. The typical salary of an English teacher is the highest in Bangkok and it is around the 40,000 to 50,000 baht per month for a full time job. Full time usually means 40 to 48 hours of work per weeks, with 20 to 25 of them being teaching. The contract that I accepted at Dusit Thani College was for 35,000 baht with some additional benefits like social insurance, housing allowance and a food allowance in the college’s canteen. When I removed all of the additions, I worked it out about 30,000 baht per month. One third of this sum I spent on the apartment as well as bills and transport for work. I ate mostly on the street and in the university canteen. The rest I spent on weekend trips and entertainment. This sum was enough to live comfortably in Bangkok. Sometimes I managed to earn a little more by taking extra classes at the weekends, organizing conferences for businessmen, or doing a bit of writing work. It meant that from time to time I was able to go a little bit crazy with my spending. According to most native speakers, living in Bangkok on less than 20,000 baht per month is impossible. It all depends on your background and desired lifestyle. I’ve known foreigners who were able to live in Bangkok for less than 20,000. Personally, however, I would not recommend taking a job for less than 30,000 baht per month.

The situation is a bit different in rural areas, especially in the north-east of the country. The salary there is generally about 30% lower than in Bangkok, but the prices will obviously be lower too. Be careful about accepting low-paying offers in Phuket and other touristy places. Prices there are like in Bangkok and sometimes even higher.

Interview with Ajarn’s Hot Seat

Ajarn.com interviewed me for their “Hot Seat” section just a month after I started work at Dusit Thani College. It’s nice to read how naive I was before the majority of the events described in this book happened.

How difficult is it these days to get a teaching job in Bangkok for someone who is considered a non-native speaker of English? We’ve discussed this topic before in the ajarn hot seat, but if memory serves me correctly, never with a European teacher. Marek Lenarcik kindly offers to fill us in.

-Marek, thanks for the opportunity to chat. You originally hail from Poland. It’s a country I’ve wanted to visit for a long time. Worth a trip?

-Definitely! Poland has something to cater for every visitor, from the Baltic Sea in the north, through 2,700 large lakes and countless little “lakelets” in the East, to the mountains in the South. City lovers can visit Warsaw, which has everything a European capital should have. Cracow, which is often referred to as the “cultural capital” of Poland or Wroclaw or Poznan, which have more of a Western character due to their proximity to the German border.

-You should write for guidebooks. Now then, you left Poland to study for a second degree in Ireland. Have I got that right? Poland to Ireland sounds like an unusual connection for a young man making his way in the world?

-That’s correct, however, the situation was more complicated. My family moved from Warsaw to Dublin in 2004. I visited them as often as I could, and then decided to move myself. Ireland had always been on my mind and I wanted to live there. I applied for seven or eight postgraduate degree programmes in a few different institutions and got rejection letters from all of them, due to the alleged incompatibility between the Irish and Polish educational systems. They didn’t recognise my BA degree from Poland. A year later I applied for only one programme at the Trinity College, Dublin, which happens to be the best university in Ireland. I got accepted on the spot.

-You settled down in Ireland and got a job with Microsoft. What were you doing for Mr Gates?
Ireland is home to the Microsoft European Operations Centre serving the EMEA region (Europe, Middle East, Africa). I worked as a Senior Licensing Representative. It was sort of a business analyst position with a lot of administration and business support for Microsoft’s corporate customers.
You’ve travelled a fair bit too. We’ll get on to Thailand shortly, but which other countries have you spent time in?

-I’ve seen most of Europe from Sweden to Spain, France to Hungary, as well as Morocco and Israel. The most memorable trip I made was a road trip from New York to Los Angeles, and a dance on the “axis of evil” – two weeks in the Islamic Republic of Iran. In Southeast Asia I have been to Laos, Malaysia, Singapore, Indonesia and Timor-Leste – one of the poorest countries in Asia.

-But you’ve ended up in Asia as a teacher. What prompted that decision?

-During my first year in Ireland, everything was so new and fascinating to me that I idealized everything – even the weather. Less than 12 months after arriving, I went on holiday to Thailand. When I came back, nothing was the same anymore. The idea of living in a warm climate was conceived. In May 2009, I was still hesitating between the Middle East, which I love, and Southeast Asia. Eventually, I decided that Thailand has more to offer a 27-year-old single male than Iran or Saudi Arabia.

-Did you think before coming here that finding teaching work as a non-native English speaker might be more difficult?

-Honestly, I didn’t do a great deal of research on it. I’d read about a few teachers that were non-natives working in Thailand, so figured that I would be alright. I sent about 100 applications, attended 10 interviews, got 5 job offers. All of these happened in December/January which, as you know, are not the best months for finding a job.

-But it seems unfair to class you as a non-native speakers based on the quality of the e-mails you’ve written to me and the fact that you’ve had your articles published?

-If I knew you were judging me on the basis of my e-mails, I would probably have put in more effort writing them! I don’t like discussing the native vs non-native thing because I think it’s an unsolvable issue. There are probably more non-native English speakers teaching English in the world than native speakers. I have formally studied English for 15 years and only one of them was with a native speaker (from Canada). But still I am able to live and work in an English-speaking environment and I believe that should be the goal of every student.
Yes, I do make mistakes but then so do native speakers. I have completed my TEFL certificate in Phuket, which I did last year. Two of the highest scores belonged to a guy from Germany and a girl from the Philippines. Some of the native speakers failed the grammar test, while all non-native speakers passed it. Sometimes, the passport is not everything.
I’ve had articles published in the Washington Post among others. The stories you see in the newspapers are a combined effort of the writer and a team of editors responsible for different aspects of the story. The version you submit rarely resembles the one that is eventually published.

-You’ve had an article published in the Polish Playboy magazine. I read recently that Polish women are rated as the most beautiful women in the world. Any chance you could send me a copy...er...to see what your article was about?

-I interviewed Richard “Gambler” La Ruina in London, who claims to be the biggest seducer in Europe. He is the author of the book “Natural Art of Seduction” and the CEO of PUA Training – a company that teaches men how to pick up women. Richard invited me to take part in a two-day long training session to better understand his work. The story in Playboy describes the training. Richard also answered a few questions. Unfortunately I can’t send you a copy, but a rough translation can be found on my blog. Let me know if you want to boost your seducing skills – maybe I can get you a discount.

-Let’s get back to teaching, before this interview goes way off track. You’ve landed a good teaching gig at Dusit Thani College. Did being a non-native speaker pose any problems at the interview stage?
The issue of being a non-native speaker was never raised during the recruitment process. The college educates future hospitality industry leaders. Only a fraction of the people they will be dealing with will come from countries where English is the first language. I think it’s beneficial for them to be familiar with as many different dialects and accents as possible.

-What about other jobs you applied for?

-I got a few replies saying that they were only interested in native speakers. One application, which I particularly remember, reached the interview stage. The interview started pretty much like this: “Oh, so you’re from Poland...”. It ended after two or three completely irrelevant questions. I could clearly see that they wanted me out of there quickly.

-I just asked my wife about Dusit Thani College and she referred to as a ‘cookery school’. If it’s the college near Seacon Shopping Mall, then a college of domestic science and hotel management might be a better description I guess?

-Dusit Thai College offers five management programs leading to a Bachelor’s degree, comprised of Hotel Management, Kitchen and Restaurant Management, Tourism Management, Resort and Spa Management, Convention and Event Management and a Master’s degree in Hotel and Restaurant Management. I am sure that if your wife wants to learn how to cook, she would find something suitable.

-My wife learn how to cook? Not a chance! What subjects do you teach there and what’s your workload?

-They went easy on me at first. I have two Pre-Intermediate groups and one Advanced Composition and Communication class. It’s 12 hours of teaching a week, plus some additional activities. The honeymoon will end in April, when I’ll get some additional classes.

-Enjoying it?
-Yes, it’s good fun!

-What do you plan to do when your time at Dusit Thani College comes to an end?

-The atmosphere in the college is great. Everybody is very nice and helpful. Students are relatively respectful. I’ve read a lot of horror stories about teaching in Thailand, so I guess I’m lucky to have landed a job like this. I want to stay in Thailand for a couple of years to at least understand the country and region. I enjoy teaching so I guess I will fulfil my goal. I also have my eyes opened for all business opportunities as I consider myself to be a creative problem-solver (hint-hint), in the meantime maybe I’ll write a best-selling book and become stinking rich?

Published on February 22, 2010: http://www.ajarn.com/ajarn-street/hot-seat/marek-lenarcik

How not to lose a penis in Thailand

“Outraged Thai women dominate in the world tanking of slashing off penises” shouts loudly a headline from an internet report about the phenomenon known as “feeding the ducks”. A more credible source, namely Australian radio ABC, explains it as follows: “More misunderstandings happen between men and women in Thailand due to an old custom of men having minor wives. Twenty years ago, an outraged women slashed off the penis of her unfaithful husband and fed it to the ducks. The trend has been set and it is now a popular revenge of Thai women on their unfaithful partners.” The radio also conducted an interview with a 42-year-old policeman, Songphong Nammawan, whose wife slashed off his penis and threw it into the sewer. Feeding the ducks is popular because it doesn’t allow the penis to be sewn back on. Thailand has some of the best surgeons in world for sewing back on penises. Practice makes perfect...

A relationship of a farang with a Thai woman is a difficult nut to bite. A culture that is completely alien to us does not help. People say that when a Thai woman loves you, their feelings are honest and true for life. When you decide to get into a serious relationship with a Thai woman, including living together, remember that they treat it very seriously. When you agree to living together, you are practically agreeing to marry her. The shit can hit the fan, but you will have a very hard time kicking the girl out of your house. Even if, from your point of view, the relationship is over and the passion is dead, her point of view will likely be very different. Being stubborn, having a lover on the side or regular visits to brothel will dramatically enhance your chances of losing your penis. If you decide to live with a Thai girl, remember that you are hers and no one else’s. She will be constantly jealous. She will check your phone, your mail. If you just want to have some fun, go ahead, but do not engage in serious and long-term relationships. Remember that for many Thai beauties, one night in your house is equal to a relationship. Know what you are getting yourself into from the start. If you think you might be in danger, don’t allow her to tie you up during sex games (you can’t defend yourself), or put a blindfold over your eyes (you might miss the knife in her hand). Aha, and make love doggy-style. If she has a knife, she won’t be able to reach you.

Perhaps Thai surgeons are the best in the world, but is it worth taking the risk?