Thanks for sharing your musings about languages. I can understand, what troubles you speaking different languages. I lived for 12 years abroad and until the end I felt like a foreigner, et least on language level. I see you are writing about positive aspects of multilinguism as well, and indeed there are a lot of advantages to it. Specially if it's your own choice. To express oneself in a foreign language helps also to protect sometimes your soul. It seems easier to say something from deep inside not in your mother tongue, apparently because expressing in foreign language takes place more on the rational side than the emotional.
Maybe this was also a reason I kept my Esperanto going.
Good luck for you. Bonan tagon!