After a lot of deliberation as to whether or not to set up a separate account for my more personal posts, I decided against it and have decided to focus some of my energy here into writing about my more personal life. When I joined Steemit, I did so under the impression that I was going to post my fiction work here. At some point, that quickly transitioned to me sharing my music and film knowledge, among other things. I have made a few sporadic personal posts entitled "Word Vomit" but it was more a product of needing an outlet without being entirely sure how to create one.

Lately, quite a few things have changed for me. Firstly, I left my long-term job in pursuit of a more organic happiness. I had come to terms with my manic depression at the time and came to the understanding that I needed a change to provide myself with the opportunity for peace of mind. I had planned on moving to Oregon to try and see what that did for me, but even since then, plans have shifted.

In about 3 weeks I plan on leaving Vermont. The working destination is still Oregon but it's not going to be the final destination. The final destination is far, far away, and still yet undetermined. I am going to need a place somewhere to keep some belongings, and possibly a car, so that will be found between here and there. I could end up fixing up the cabin in the backyard of the house I'm staying in and calling that "home", or more appropriately "storage unit", or something similar. I might still be undecided 3 weeks from now and end up having to resort to a storage unit. Whatever.

I'm not a big fan of the "normal" lifestyle. I don't want to be tied to a rental apartment and a job you have to slave away at for years before you see any glimmer of hope. I don't want to see the same roads and views every day and I'm pretty damn sure my dog doesn't want to, either. I have always been a very hard worker but I've always found the work petty and hate making rich people richer while I slave away at their feet for cups of coffee and dog food. I also quickly get bored with doing the same work, and am never satisfied with my level of activity and lack of variety in my day to day life. I was never accepting of the concept that we're supposed to devote our entire brain and life to one field, and pursue a pre-fabricated career so that we can one day all fit the mold. I've always been an avid believer that you can create a good life without giving into the evils of economics and hierarchy, and while it hasn't been easy, it's been alright thus far.

10,000 hours

I'm sure many of you have heard the 10,000 hour theory. The 10,000 hour rule was a theory fathered by Swedish psychologist K. Anders Ericcson. It was more broadly adopted after it's use in Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers. If you aren't familiar with it, it's essentially the theory that with 10,000 hours of work, anything can be "mastered".

Obviously, it's a very controversial theory, if taken literally. Upon searching the term on Presearch, I was surprised to see a litany of articles talking about how it's been "disproved". How dumb. I think it should be obvious that this isn't supposed to be a proven formula, and obviously not any individual is going to be able to master anything with a set amount of work.

Anyways, I have started to think of it in a new way. I've spent a lot of my younger years battling severe depression and often times it's left me stuck in a rut I feel I can't get out of. I haven't wanted to be in this place for so long but I genuinely thought I was doing the right thing. But, really, I was just beating myself up because I was never satisfied and I never took the time to think about why. After I graduated high school, I spent years traveling and doing what I loved. Depression still followed me but overall I was a much happier, more productive and more energetic person. I think being stuck in one place for the wrong reasons since those years has really taken a negative toll on my mental health and these thoughts led me to rethink what I will be doing in the near future.

This is an experiment of sorts, on my own mental health. When I leave here in 3 weeks I will surely be still headed for Oregon. But like I said before, I doubt I will "settle down" there, by any means. Not yet. I might find an apartment or living space to rent there to keep my belongings but I doubt I am going to be there for very long. I also have no timeframe on how long it takes me to get there. I have tons of friends that I would love to see between here and there, and I'm anticipating some of those visits will end up being much longer than I had planned.

Over the next few years I am going to apply this "10,000 hour rule" to battling mental health. For me, this means experiencing as much as I can, and also getting back in touch with some of my passions that I've let fallen by the wayside. 10,000 hours of snowboarding, skateboarding, music, writing, hiking, biking, art, building, etc. 10,000 hours of doing what makes me happy and finding random work to make it all happen.

I can't settle down. I can't continue to make someone else millions of dollars so that I can go home to an overpriced apartment and think about all the other places out there I want to experience. Whenever I try to pick a place I think about all the places that might be a better fit for me. Financially I'm not sure how I'm going to make this happen while creating a future but I'm confident I can do so. I'm sure many of those hours will go into deeper crypto research and activities, as well.

I have an amazing Saab hatchback that I'm absolutely in love with. I'm kind of torn as to what to do with it, as I'm going to keep it regardless, but I know that if I try to go on this journey in it it will most likely not make it very far. So that's a big issue I have to figure out. It looks like I may have the opportunity to leave it with a family member in Texas that would take care of it for me until I returned to drive it to whatever home I may find. So, I'm looking into other options as well, and ideally a van wouldn't hurt. But, that's all to be determined.

Starting today I'm committing a lot more time to myself, and my dog. I need some stability and routine isn't going to give it to me, as backwards as that sounds. I genuinely love life but my brain isn't satisfied with my current lifestyle and has been a real bully lately. I hope to go to some truly amazing places and do some truly amazing stuff as I crawl my way around. Who knows where it could lead. And, I hope to share these adventures with all of you here on Steemit. Obviously I plan to continue doing just as much(or more, preferably) of my typical posts but I want to get to know some of you on a more personal note.

Mental health is no joke and if anyone is struggling I strongly suggest you find a change that works for you. I don't know what that means for me yet but I know that I can find it. Please feel free to reach out to me as well. I love you <3

all shitty photos taken by yours truly