HOW A BISON ALMOST KILLED ME!!!!

blantonian (49)in #travel • 7 years ago (edited)

As a continuing story from my area 51 saga this will show you how I almost died in Yellowstone National Park. And yes it was a crazy Blantonian style crazy.

The whole fiasco of my pending doom began early in the morning around 330 ish AM. We drove all night from Utah because I had the bright idea to go see a geyser. Well here we were almost 4am pulling up the mountain into the Yellowstone park. Grant it it was about - 10 to - 20 farehnhiet. Negative I didn't even know temperature could be negative.

OK a little history.... I'm a southern boy.... I'm used to 100% humidity and Temps above 95 degrees Farehnhiet. A winter storm maybe Temps in the upper 30s. Never snow only sand rain and heat. So I was in an alien world. OK... Back to the story

This image above they call the devils thumb. Wonder why.... Oh yeah maybe the boiling hot sulfur water which yes it does burn you.... Don't ask hahaha..... Or the fact it looks like a thumb..... Or hey I like this one better.... OK pitch dark we need to park and sleep. We find an open spot park the car and proceed to. Cover up with all the floor heater warmed blankets. Yes Remember it's negative Temps at this point. So our smart ass idea don't run the car all night save gas. Yeah no. Next morning I wake up to not only frozen solid snot in my mustache. But to the sight of what looks like a steaming thumb sticking out the ground.

OH yeah and this guy wandering around said giant thumb. WTF.......

SO FREEZING COLD

not my exact words I mumbled that morning.

So I woke up had to pee of course so after prying the door open yes it was frozen shut.... I stumbled out into the most intense wake the hell up blast of cold anyone can expect to experience. It was beautiful.

I stood there trying to find my wannger..... Hey it was cold..... Hahaha..... And I was wearing 3 pants. Lol. Standing in the park I released the previous night's drinks into the ecosystem of the geyser.... Soon my friend joined me and we walked around to admire the local sights.

But here is where I almost was killed by a bison.

Sooooo most of the roads were snowed in. Impassable especially in the Toyota Camery.

But I'm crazy let's try another way..
This should do....

Shoot I wish anyway so I'm hauling butt down a road which the only way you could tell it was a road..... Was because there was no trees in it.... And it was smooth and flat. So I'm putting the little Toyota through its paces. When all of a sudden I come around a corner and see this directly in my path.

No way around them they wouldn't move to the horn blowing.... They wouldn't move when I drove up on them.... Well what does the old Blantonian do... I proceed to get out and shoo them with a pair of flip flops... Bad idea those things are evil.... If you have never seen a fat man run.... You would have that day.... Yup nothing makes you run like a snorting hairy beast chasing you back to the car.

So what did we do.... We sat there and waited almost 20 min for them to move on....

What did we get for that wait.......