That German Life #1

The Voyage to Zoll... or the German Customs Office

The beginning of this section sounds like the title of an Odyssey-type epic, complete with dragons and sirens. Unfortunately, it is only a journey of an English speaking 'nomad', two buses and two trams, and an overpriced home-made scarf.

I believe my mother thinks the customs declaration form on packages is more like an insurance form. That maybe if she estimates her handmade scarf and Target-bought knick knacks as worth $55 and USPS/Deutsche Post loses the package, she will be reimbursed for the total. I honestly wish that was the case.

As a weeks passed and I had still not received a package sent in early December (worrisome because it contained two of my US credit cards), I made the dreaded call to DHL. Now if anyone has ever used DHL in Germany, you know they are notorious for horrid service. But even worse - their customer service. As I attempted to speak broken German with a telephone robot, I began to question if this package was even worth it. Eventually, after bouncing back between two departments for an hour, I got my answer: Zoll. I would receive a letter in the mail, and they really couldn't tell me much more.

Eventually, the letter arrived - that afternoon thankfully. Zoll is only required to hold packages for seven days after writing these letters before returning the packages to the sender. I was already on Day 5. I started making plans to travel to the most inconveniently located Zollamt, an hour further outside Berlin. I am lucky that I am currently waiting for my work visa (a story for another time) or I probably would not have been able to get there and to a job in time.

After lots of Toytown research to calm my ever-present German bureaucracy nerves, I decided to just wing it. Because it is a gift, there was literally no paperwork that I could bring to prove prices - I also had absolutely no idea what my mom had sent me... and she had conveniently forgotten. So 1.5 hours on scenic öffentlichen verkehrsmittel and a 1km walk later, I arrived, took a number, and waited.

After seeing my very American last name, the customs officer anticipated a broken German/broken English struggle, but thankfully I was able to surprise her. We eventually just decided to open the package together, and she was delighted my mother's handmade scarf, exclaiming "AHHH handgestrickte!! und natürlich mit Liebe!!" Thankfully for me, she agreed that although the scarf was lovely, it was not worth the $30 that my mother valued it at. Two signatures later, I was out of there, credit cards and new scarf in hand.

Lessons of the day:

• To all moms out there: Please just insure your packages. Customs valuations are not the same
• The German government starts taxing gifts at 48 euro of declared value
• Normal imports are taxed starting at 28 euro of declared value
• DHL/UPS use customs brokers so that you have a lower likelihood of ending up at the Zollamt opening your package with an old, albeit lovely, German woman
• If you are sending used clothing, you can decrease the value by including "used sending to owner"
• German customs ladies had a thing for handmade scarves

Source: stamp photo

this is a series where I talk about things I encounter as a foreigner in Germany. from language discoveries to bureaucracy frustrations to cultural differences, check in to That German Life for updates