Loneliness... Love... and

I spent a long time alone.

Sometimes I would sit in my room not understanding why felt so alone. Even though I had a few friends, and two brothers that I felt cared for me. My parents were there as well...

So I never understood why I felt so lonely.

I took up hobbies such as drawing, or writing in a journal. Mostly drawing though, although I wasn't very good at it. Its strange how loneliness sorta chips away at you at times.

It can sorta feels like pressure at time, which I think is weird because you would think it feels more like a lack of pressure. Silence is a lot like that. If you ever find yourself in complete silence you will find that its a lot more like noise if that makes sense. It just a different sort of noise.

I've felt this pressure all my life, or at least as far back as I can remember. I'm pretty socially awkward at least I think I am, but I'm told that I'm also affable. So generally I don't think its my situation that makes me feel this way. It could be my own mental state, or something about my personality.

That's sorta why love is important....

Not just being loved, but just feeling love... for everything.

For yourself.

Just remember out of all of the combinations of elements that this universe could have created. You sprung into existence. There are so many variables against your creation, your survival.

Yet in the middle of all this beauty and chaos.

You came to exist.

You are apart of it all...

Love can fill the loneliness I feel,

when I feel that all familiar pressure, I just think about all the beautiful people I've had the pleasure to love in this life.