Except that, psychologists agree through experiments where people write about their feelings, that those who do not use a healthy mix of "I" along with "we, she, he, they, and you" are not self-aware. They simply don't see their impact on others. So, while selfishness is not a good thing, not everything having to do with yourself is selfish. I think we can all agree, that whether you believe him to have been a real person, or a character created to embody ideals Jesus was not selfish, yet, taught love for others in this way. "Do unto others as you would have done to you" you must be aware of self and self wants, to conduct yourself selflessly. I must have a healthy perspective of what I want and what I need in order to have compassion for you. In fact, empathy, the strongest motivator of compassion, only happens when I find something in my experience, that allows me to relate to you. In another statement, he claimed the second greatest command in the universe was to "Love your neighbor as yourself" indicating that not only was love of self a part of the human condition, but a healthy part, and the measuring rod of our treatment of others. Unless I see myself clearly, I cannot hope to see you. I is not a bad word. It, like all other words, is all in how you use it.