What’s on my mind today ...

A nerve- wracking and controversial conversation popped up on my twitter timeline today, discussing if it’s right for queer men to use cishet women as their shield or “beard” in order to survive homophobia. As in a queer man lying and conning a cishet woman into marriage in order to survive homophobia.
For context, this is relating to the Nigerian society where homophobia is the order of the day. There is no denial, the hostility and vileness queer people experience for just existing in Africa. In Nigeria, the law was passed for same-sex marriage/relationship prohibition in 2014 with a punishment of 10 to 14years imprisonment. The realities of gay people in Nigeria is deeply rooted in a patriarchal culture is a damning and painful one. Homosexuality is sadly criminalized on basis of religious beliefs which constitutes a perception of African culture and tradition.
It is a common knowledge that for some queer men to survive this cruelty, they decide to get married to cishet women as a cover or shield, often times without the consent of the woman. Homophobia exists alongside with many ills in our society but fighting it at the detriment of others cannot stand as the acceptable way. A little empathy is needed for both sides to talk through this complex and complicated situation. It is understandable how extremely difficult surviving is for queer people in a deeply homophobic society where one’s existence is considered illegal. But it is also important to understand how misogynistic it is to expect women to accept being collateral damage in this situation. This is basically fighting homophobia with misogyny. People who seek their own survival at the detriment of others should be demonized.

“where homophobia and misogyny coexists, for both queer men and women, men benefit more from misogyny but women are doomed on both ends”

Let’s focus on fighting homophobia but not with misogyny. Say no to bigotry.

pls don’t just upvote, follow and comment too, let’s connect