Sorry to hear that. You are good dud. People that went thru war have seen horrifying things for sure. That makes scars on soul. I`m sure you did much for your friend. When someone dies, you always got feeling that you could done more for him, but that is always like that. My dad died 6 months ago, had same feeling.
Dont want to sound like I`m teeling you what you shud do, but here is my opinion. Do what makes you happy. Educate young boys that war is bs. Eventually that pain you feel will stop, scars will be healed.
Love from Croatia.
Thanks for the supportive comment. I am really trying to get people to start talking about it more so we can stop feeling like social pariahs when we leave service.