The Thieving Apes of Monkey Beach, Thailand.
This is Thailand. Beautiful, isn't it? I went backpacking in Thailand for about a week during Spring Festival (China's New Year celebration). It's an amazing and gorgeous country but also a bit different. It's full of pretty sweet cities and sights to check out. Bangkok is probably the most notorious city among expats and tourists alike but it's also a huge tourist trap. You'll be harassed constantly by the denizens who want to make a quick buck off their cheap and sometimes cool products. The most annoying are the guys trying to sell you suits. It's hot as fucking balls and I'm here on vacation, why the fuck would I want a suit? I can tell you many stories about my time in Thailand, from having an awesome trip on shrooms at night on a beach on Koh Lanta Island to watching strippers shoot ping pong balls and bananas out of their vaginas. I'll save those for another time.
Today I want to tell you about these cute little monkeys.
Awww. So cutesy wutesy and adorable........but FUCK them. They're conniving, little thieves. They seem friendly and shy but should you have something worth taking from and turn your back for one second...BAM!!! They strike and rob your ass blind.
This is Monkey Beach on Koh Phi Phi. You have to rent a kayak, which is dirt cheap and paddle your way to the beach.
It's a small and simple beach but these monkeys are some gangster ass mofos.
This is part of the crew I rolled with in Thailand. An awesome roster of characters. Not everyone is in this photo, including our main star of the story, Keller.
So, my friends and I all grabbed a 2-seated kayak and paddled our way towards Monkey Beach. I was paired with Keller. She had a bag with her and in it were some cigarettes, a pack of pringles and a tall can of Chang, a popular beer in Thailand. We docked our kayaks, hopped off and soon after we see our friends rushing back to their kayak to save their belongings as it was about to be pillage by these pirate fucks of monkeys. Keller quickly goes back to our kayak and grab her bag to be safe. Shortly after, 2 monkeys crept up behind her when she didn't noticed and straight jacked her shit. She didn't put up much of a fight as the monkeys debo'd her. One grabbed the pack of pringles and ran off while the other stole the tall can of beer and climbed up a tree. What we all witnessed after was the most gangster shit we've ever seen. The one that stole the beer cracked it open and pounded it down like it was his fifth beer of the evening. I shit you not. Clearly, he's done this before and has since developed a serious drinking problem. It was quite a sight to behold. All in all, it was a dope experience and I'd like to revisit sometime in the near future. I'll finish off this post with some more pictures of my Thailand adventures. Peace!
You'll have to trek a bit through a jungle to get to this gem in Koh Lanta.
Gotta at least get one picture of an elephant when you're in Thailand.
Remember when I mentioned strippers shooting ping pong balls and bananas out of their lovely lady parts? That's where the magic happened.
Yes, I did eat that. No, I did not like it.
There's countless amount of beautiful and serene beaches on many of the islands of Thailand.
Khao San Road, Bangkok. You'll find people partying it up all night long here. It's full of bars, drinks, excitement and people from all over the world.
Great story man. I went to that beach about ten years ago. Not sure if they still do but they give you the chance to buy some cooked corn to feed them with. I bought a bag and the monkeys pulled the same shit but they used a decoy strategy. One of them snuck up behind me and grabbed my calf with it's little furry hands. I still remember how creepy it felt. When I looked down another one hopped up in front of me and stole the corn. Being young and dumb, I thought "I paid for that!", and tried to get it back. The monkeys stopped what they were doing, bared their teeth and growled at me. Fierce little bastards.
was 10 years ago the last time you've been to Thailand, period? I don't remember cooked corn being sold but it's possible. Those monkeys are smart little bastards and just because they're small and cute don't mean a thing because kinda like you said, if you try to go after them, they'll group up and ferociously snarl at you. I'm sure they can do some damage if they wanted.
Well actually it wasn't quite ten years ago. Maybe 8? But yeah that was the first and only time I've gone. It's probably changed a lot since then. Yeah those monkeys scared the shit out of me to be honest haha. Crafty and they got sharp teeth.
We'll get the whole crew and go back and live it up. I guess you can add that to the list of things you're holding me to haha
My brother was just there and loved it. I want to go bad!!
It's an awesome place full of adventure! If you ever get the chance to go, you'll love it.
Hi @cirememoh love this post! Followed!
Anyway I'm Thai :)
Thanks! Followed back. Thailand is awesome!
Thank you! pleased to know you like Thailand :)
sounds like a place to go when your single, no?
Single, married, dating; Thailand is a place everyone should check out regardless of your marital status.
If you want to experience something unlike anything else you've ever seen or heard about, hit up Bangkok in April during the "Water Festival". It will rock your world!
If fate serves us right, the whole group can check that out any much more. I'd love to go back to Thailand.