AN ONLINE VIGIL FOR ALL MY FELLED LAPTOPS

This is a post in tribute to every laptop I've ever owned that I didn't look after properly.

My first; a big bulky thing, swarming with viruses, probably because I grew up in the Limewire era.

My second; a small, compact, ballsy thing that got me through a couple of years of uni, until I threw a house party and it got trod on. It wasn't long until the black crack of doom spread to the whole screen.

My third; a nippy little purple thing, back when I very first started camming. Destroyed early on, before any kind of bond could be made, by a spilt whiskey and coke. I don't like things that can't handle their drink.

My fourth; my tank. I needed a replacement, but I needed it fast, and cheap. Cue a quick Facebook marketplace transaction. The charge plug still had a PAT sticker on, I'd like to think you were stolen from an office. You forced me to buy a HD webcam, cos yer so old you don't even have one. Frustrated doesn't even cover it, when I think about the times you nearly fucked me.

But now you're dead. Properly, which is bloody typical, cos I'd just transferred loads of photos over.

I'm really not emotional about losing this piece of junk, its more that... I work from my computer... I write Steemit posts on my computer. Phones aren't the same and I can never find a bloody pen that works at the best of times.

Also, I can't really afford a new one right now. Cos I'm sure as hell not buying second hand again.

RIP shitty laptop, I now completely regret postponing all those updates.