My happiness has been lost
Every time I see a harmonious and harmonious family, there must be a sneak in my heart. There is envy. Because my family is not like their family. Every time I hear my friends telling me about their father, I just listen and feel like crying. I want to go for a walk, or just joke with my father just can not.
Since my father had had a stroke, everything changed completely. My life was peaceful, now there is always a quarrel every day even if only trivial things. The house that used to be heaven is now like hell for me. My father was not like a sick man in general, he was very eager to repeat his speech even though I had heard it. Though he was able to walk (because when sick can not walk). He never understood me, even though I was tired after school or sick.
Like a few days ago, I just washed a lot of clothes. Just had a break already ordered. "Deck, buy rujak!" I just keep silent. "Deck, buy rujak!" Said a little snarl. "Bentar is still dhuhur," I said. However, he did not understand. He also snapped at me, "Da, buy rujak !!" Who does not get annoyed if tired-tired barked and ordered? I'm emotionally said, "I do not know what I washed out so many clothes !?"
Once again he had told me to buy ice, I had a good heart to buy and I got a glass. But what did I get? He will even hit me with a doormat. I entered the room and cried.
I sometimes feel sorry for my tired mother from work. Because he is the backbone of my family. Every day my parents argue that always starts from my father's snarl. No matter morning, noon, or night. My mother just always cry and complain, "Oh God, how long should I be like this?" I wanted to hug my mother but could not. I do not have that power.
My sister who came home from work (who came home once a month) also did not escape a fight with my father. I pity to see my brother who rarely came home but when returned home was served by a fight. Once my brother bought my father batik clothes biri and short sleeves. But instead of being grateful, even my sister was scolded and ridiculed. My sister left and cried. Me and my mother went looking for her. After meeting my brother, my mother and I hugged my sister.
Every day I always experience like this. I can only pray and surrender to God's plan. Whenever there is a problem like this I can only cry and vent my grief in the diary. I wish the best for my family. I want to just watch television with my family, but I can not. Though it's a regular thing for you guys. But it is my greatest wish. My old happiness has now vanished. I believe that all is beautiful in time.
Every family is more complicated than it looks like from the outside. Families with pain, anger, loss, and confusion are far more the norm than the ideal of the perfect family you think you see out in the world. Nobody is a perfect sitcom family. Under every perfect-looking family is a world of turmoil and weirdness and complexity that nobody sees; all we see is the pristine image that some families are good at projecting.