NOCTURNAL THOUGHTS

It's night again.
Why am I feeling this way?
It's late but it looks like
I'm still battling in my little lane of fear.
In nights like this,
I can be many things.
Sometimes I'd cry,
Sometimes I'd laugh,
Sometimes I have long Epistles to put on paper.
Sometimes, I belittle myself on things I should do
And things I thought should've been done.
But most times I feel void.
How come the night is cold,
but I still feel hot?
How come the birds are silent,
but I'm still hearing chirps!
Reality sets on me
and my world goes blank
The little things i thought i wanted
becomes thorns in my blanket.
My joy and laughter derails farther
Away from my existence.
As the night turns into day,
My true identity as human is shown to me on a scale.
The reflections of my past
Comes back to torment me on a mirage.
My strength which was once strong, becomes weaker by the day
Just like a nuclear bomb that remains for ages,
Reality sets in
I wish you were here,
To tell you how I feel on these days
It's unbearable to keep alone
But the thoughts of letting it out
To the wrong person always sends
cold shivers down my spine.
I guess everything needs to be kept
In the hands of faith alone,
For as it stands, I'm all alone.

© Okoye obinna