When people treat you like they don't care, believe them..

Should I give up?

Time will come that you feel like you need to give them up, not because you don't care but they actually don't.

I know that every beginning is the hardest but how can I survive if as the days passes by, the world is constructing a lot of obstacles to jump on? Plus the hatred will come over, the faith will slowly down and the stars will stop from shining. I feel like choking. It's hard to breathe. I am searching for water and light for me to stay alive but saw nothing. The emptiness is killing me. The sorrow is eating my saw. I am slowly digging for peace to lean on. When will the next sunshine? I never stop hoping. I will be forever waiting..

It feels like i'm walking in an endless tunnel.

I searched about the depression.

Am I depressed?

I actually don't know.

I live happily everyday. I laugh and do well inside my field. I approach everybody as there's nothing wrong inside me.

The feeling of being in darkness will just come when I am alone. When I am about the sleep. All the things happened will suddenly push myself back. All the tears shed my room will pass over, and again. I'm inside the black hole. I'm inside the lonely black hole.

I will run and run again to see a little light then I finally woke up. I am again here, awake and will see another struggle.

It's been five months. Five months of trying to forget about everything. Five months of staying alive . Five months of fighting against the misery.

But then, the nightmares are never defeated. They're still there haunting me.. The scream of agony.. The thousand liters of tears.. Unmeasured sadness.. The despair of this world..

"The struggle you're in today, is filling a hundred strength for tomorrow."

I wish..

I'm hoping..