How to teach a child to keep his word

How to teach a child to keep his word

To teach the child to keep his word.

Do you often faced when agreed with the child that he do something, or Vice versa, will no longer do, and then contrary to all expectations, he behaves as if this agreement never existed.

You get upset, offended, begin to swear: "Why did you do it again? We have already discussed..."

The child is also upset that we've failed you. Promises that more so do not be. It looks incredibly convincing, but next time it is repeated.

The question arises, why is this happening and is it possible with this to do something?

There is a temptation to consider the child as "under...adult," as if the differences between it and older quantitative (for example, less experience, less memory, less attention span). But the mental mechanism of the adult and child are very different qualitatively. The child perceives the world in a different brain. His perception and thinking work differently.

LOOK AT THE SITUATION THROUGH THE EYES OF A CHILD:

Scene 1

Mom asked to remove the things in the room before her arrival. The child agrees and says something like "yeah...". But does this mean "yeah..." that the child personality took the job and is actually going to execute it in accordance with the agreements?

Scene 2

The child remembers that an hour later my mother's friend will take him to a music school or tutor, or somewhere, and he had still not completed the homework (!). Or, perhaps the child promised the children that come to play football against a neighboring yard. He feels a responsibility to the team and runs all the legs on the first call.

Scene 3

Removed whether things in the room by the specified date? Probably not. Simply because pre-existing intentions and inner children should just "not allowed" the child to do so.

Scene 4

My mother was furious, and on the other side are genuinely frightened that the child cannot perform even the simplest of commitments. The child is upset that mom is dissatisfied and wants to become better (but will likely behave in similar situations).

IF...

If the identity and therefore the child's behavior was more "adult", instead of "yeah, I'll do it..." the child would give the answer which reflects their true intentions and a holistic understanding of the situation. For example, a child would have noticed that he can deliver on the promise in only one case, if you do things right now. Or discovered that, if he would fulfill the request, you will not have time with the job.

Imagine you would have heard the answer: "Mom, I can't, because if you do the cleaning now, I don't have time with the job".

Such a response requires sufficient good reflection (awareness itself) and courage (because the answer can be heard just "how you dare to answer me, because I have so much for you!"). A clear proof of the low reflection children is that they are very easily driven by a sincere desire to please my parents, make promises that are fundamentally impossible to perform and which often begin with the words "I always..." or "I never..." and others.

Cognitive and emotionally much easier to say "yeah" and then fail to do if "will not work". This is an earlier and archaic way of behaviour in a conflict situation "I do not want, but need" (when a parent requests that the child is not a priority). And while the child will not learn a new way to behave in such situations, he will use this and a string of quarrels and mutual resentment will continue.

HOW AND WHAT CAN WE TEACH THE CHILD?

The child can be taught that he is responsible about what he says and kept his word. That is the curse of the child not for the fact that "it has not removed things," and for what he promised and did not. Then the child will begin to learn to make promises and ask yourself: "if I can do this", "how do I do that", "what is the meaning of certain actions."

It is important for mental development in General, not only to improve relations between child and parent. This is the first step to learn how to manage your life, not just react to what is happening around.
#a child # keep his word