How to Photograph a Wedding While Drinking A Lot and Crying on the Inside

Hi everyone! This is my first steemit post, I am holed up in a trailer on some farm at a wedding with rain smelting down on my fabric rooftop. I am doing the photography here (supposed to be...instead I am writing in my trailer).
The reason I am writing this is because weddings make me terribly sad. I can't explain it really..I think its because when I love, I love very deeply. Consequently, I am able to experience its opposite- extreme loneliness. Right now I am experiencing the latter of the spectrum. At weddings, people play songs like "Autumn Leaves"...songs that I really can't listen to without crying so I end up looking around the room for something (anything) to focus on until it goes away. Why can't I cry infront of people? I don't know, I'm Irish.
Right now seems right for a beer. Will it be my undoing? Stay tuned. I will post my intro soon, glad to be on Steemit finally!