Suicide? Who'd have thought it.
I'm 52, suffered losses, close ones. Self harmed briefly as a teenager, but never ever had suicidal thoughts. After a tough argument with my youngest, 15 year old daughter, I actually contemplated stabbing myself profusely with a kitchen knife. This thought is now terrifying me.
I suggest you get help. Talk to a counselor, a pastor or a trusted friend. You must work out the trail that this thought is taking you on before it takes you where you don't want to go. It is a clear signal that your psyche is not happy.
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