Why Toxic Masculinity IS a Problem & a Personal Anecdote

There is no "manning up." I feel sorry for men who've been taught this message throughout their lives. The message that it is wrong to have and/or feel emotions; much less show those emotions. According to NAMI, 76% of suicides are by men and suicide is the largest cause of death for men under age 35. Interestingly, it's the second leading cause of death amongst both genders in this same age category. I recently wrote on the dangers of unexpressed emotions:
https://steemit.com/psychology/@chelsea88/the-dangers-of-unexpressed-emotions

What I will speak on today, ties into the concept of unexpressed emotions, at its' peak and most dangerous level. It is commonly known that women are more likely to seek psychological help for their emotions. This is viewed as "okay," while men are seen as weak for doing this or for expressing their emotions in a healthy way like CRYING. It's incredibly sad and you might think that we are more progressive than this and I think slowly we are becoming more progressive in this regard as a society; however, we have a LONG way to go & until we get there I'm afraid we will continue to see a spike in suicides.

Here are some take home points to address toxic masculinity:

1. It's okay to talk about it. If someone makes you feel "less than" for opening up, discontinue the relationship.
2. It's okay to have "feminine" displays of emotion, like crying or being emotional in general.
3. It's okay to seek psychological help.
4. It's not okay to suppress, suppress, suppress.
5. It's not okay to use substances to suppress
6. It's not okay to take it out on others or behave in volatile, hurtful ways.

You may think all of this is easy for me to say. Well, it is. I've witnessed this first hand. My own father was offered psychological help and highly encouraged to take it from several sources following his tour(s) in Iraq post 9/11. He thought he didn't need it and subsequently did attempt suicide by pills. That was a very painful point in my life and the life of my family I don't frequently talk about.

Bottom line, encourage those you know to be struggling or suspect it, to talk about it! Don't behave or act strangely around a male who is expressing healthy emotions. Encourage it. Life is fleeting, we don't need to make it more fleeting by suppressing men/all genders/gender identities from talking about emotions. Don't become part of this growing problem by dismissing people. Validation is key.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. Be a part of the discussion and leave insightful comments below.

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