The Stroke Experience

Now some of you might find this topic extremely boring. Before, I would probably not have read this post. I must say I now have quite the interest.

PART 1:
My partner of 35 years old is very talkative and when I say talkative, there are no words literally to describe. A very happy person, always making jokes, never sitting still. He was a smoker, had a hectic work schedule, and a 1 year old bouncing baby boy (who is still 1 and still bouncing by the way)

On the 08 February, he called me because he had fainted at work from high blood pressure. He was feeling fine by the time he got home though. On 09 February 2018, he phoned me on the way home and said that he had these funny pins and needles all over his body. Now knowing him, he exaggerates a lot and loves the attention, so I didn’t pay too much attention to him moaning when he got home. I started getting worried about an hour later when he was still feeling this way. I checked for any other signs that could be related to, well, anything.

Not moments later, his right arm started flailing in all different directions, over the head, into the walls, and he burst into tears because he couldn’t control what was happening to him. Minutes later his right leg started doing the same thing. So we had his right arm hitting himself and into things and his leg doing funny things and I’m like.. what…the… hell is happening. He had different outbursts of emotion, crying, then angry, and then crying. For a second, I thought this guy must be on Flakka. I felt like I was watching a horror movie, with a zombie standing right in front of me. You know, the asylums in the horror movies… yeah I felt like I was there. And I was scared as hell. Now I have a 12 year old and a 1 year old, and of course first thought was send them to the room and close the door (baby was crying and this was driving my partner insane. He was delusional, imagining I was saying things that I hadn’t said. Dementia seemed to have taken over for a while. He seemed possessed and this is no joke.

He went to the kitchen and opened the tap and he called me to say that the water is calming him down, so naturally I tapped him a bath, started to make him coffee (which I never finished making) and he got out the bath and couldn’t remember my name. He called me on his sister’s name and his mom’s name and he knew he was getting it wrong only after the second or third time. Shaking his head as if realizing he was saying something wrong. Continuously saying other names other than mine. Then again with the uncontrollable movements.

So we called the hospital and they told me to bring him in. When we got there, they checked all his stats and said that he looked like he was fine. They wanted him to urinate in a cup before they could proceed to send him to the doctor. He couldn’t stand still therefore he couldn’t even urinate. Then the paranoia kicked in and was getting irritated because everyone was “watching” him. The fact that they wouldn’t help him only aggravated him more, so he left and decided he is walking home. The nurses told me that this was typical of a drug addict. I drove around looking for him, but of course I couldn’t find him. Needless to say I was so scared and wasn’t sure what was happening so the kids and I didn’t sleep at home that night, scared of something happening being around him.

The next day, his arms and legs were still twitching but not as bad and every day got less. So we assumed he was ok. After much research, I eventually figured out that this was the TIA (Transient Ischemic Attack, also known as a mini-stroke)

Now of all the pamphlets on strokes and information given out so freely, where are the notices that ask you to look for these signs??? The ones that tell you, you might seem like a complete lunatic to others??

PART 2:

On 20th February, I came home and my partner was lying down, passed out on the floor, nose bleeding. My first thought was that he was dead. I moved him around a bit and this wasn’t working, so I sort of lightly slapped him in the face and he woke up, without a clue what had happened. The next day, he started losing feeling in his right side of his body, speech was slurring, he was sliding his leg along and of course I looked for the face drooping but there wasn’t any of that.

22 February, I took him to the doctor who checked him out and told us it seemed like a stroke had occurred and that he would immediately need to go to the hospital (he is NOT a fan of hospitals). Nonetheless we went, and after hours of waiting (Government hospital) they eventually saw him and confirmed that he had a stroke and that he was experiencing hemi-paralysis (paralysis on one side of his body) For a man that doesn’t like to cry in public, he cried a lot. Because he was young they wanted further investigation so he had to stay overnight. He wasn’t happy about that, but I had to leave to fetch the kids. The hospital called me back to ask me to come speak to him because he wants to leave. I convinced him to stay. He ended up staying until the next day which he then tried to escape the hospital. Hemi-paralysis and all, they had to have 7 guards hold him down.

After scans were done, the doctors told us they found a cholesterol plaque in his main aorta to his heart.

I visited daily; he seemed to be progressing bit by bit. On 27th February, he asked me to come fetch him as he was being released. I had later found out that they did not release him by choice, but that he requested to leave and they agreed.
He came home and I helped him as much I could. His leg was progressing nicely. He could walk almost 80% correct. His arm started progressing as well and he was quite chuffed with himself.

PART 3:

On 23 March, we were watching late night movies and he said to me that he was feeling slight pins and needles again, but that it was light. He refused the hospital, and told me not to take him. I cannot carry him. Way taller and way heavier than I am.

By Saturday morning, his speech started slurring again, and he kept sleeping. By the afternoon, his speech was gone and he was completely paralysed. This had become an extremely exhausting experience after a while, being between him moaning and baby crying, I ended up having a panic attack after hours and hours of helping him. I just couldn’t breathe anymore. My only way of trying to figure out what he wanted was asking him to blink if the answer was yes when I asked a question. Later on his jaw locked.

By Sunday morning, I called the ambulance to come fetch him. When they collected him, they checked him out first, and they asked me why he is gnawing at his teeth and if it was normal for him, which it wasn’t. They then asked him if he has a headache and he indicated yes by blinking. They explained to me that this kind of headache was different to any kind of regular headache and it was because of this headache that he is gnawing at his teeth.

He was admitted into hospital for a second time and this time he had to stay. He was in the emergency ward for the first night; thereafter he was in the ICU ward. I made an appointment with the doctor and the outcome was as follows:

He has had a massive stroke. There is a 90% chance that he would never recover, and would need nurse care for the rest of his life. He will never be able to work again. He has a 50% chance that he doesn’t make it out of the hospital alive. The gnawing was a result of swelling on the brain and the swelling on the brain was causing seizures.

This was obviously devastating and by the time I had gotten home, I had another 3 panic attacks.

I still visited daily. The blinking communication continued. The excessive blinking however, led to dry eyes which was extremely painful for him. They had him on a drip through the nose to give him liquids and food. He had a catheter inserted as well. I then tried a different method of communication, by using my left hand as “Yes” and right hand as “No” when I asked questions. When eventually starting using a communication board. We then got information that he would be going to a stroke rehabilitation centre.

He is there still today. He has had progresses but not yet enough to say a lot has changed. He can nod and shake his head. He can now smile and laugh. He still cannot speak. His lockjaw is no longer present. He is being fed through a peg (tube into the stomach). Instead of the catheter, he now has to use an adult diaper. Of recent, he can move both arms about 10cm inwards only. His right leg can move. His left leg also recently started moving a little bit.

Here’s to hoping for more progress soon.