"If Only You Knew" Part1

"You don't know anything about anything," I shot back, but my sense of secrecy fell away. Now I was naked. A telling delay passed before I meekly added, "because there's nothing to know".

"I know your shame. Come on Greg," he implored "I've known you for fourteen years, did you think I didn't notice? Your awkwardness when I asked to use your computer. The way you fidgeted when the autocomplete suggested 'retro TV database' or 'classic TV streaming'. And your reddit account, jesus christ man, your reddit account."

I got up, let him in, sat down, and cried.

"The first time, it happened accidentally," I eked out between sobs. "I ate some bad clam chowder. How did it ever come to this? Burying underwear in the garden because I can't admit to my wife that..."

"Let it out," Greg said, sensing my nerve weakening, "it will be a load off to say the truth."

"Fine." I took a slow, deep breath to calm myself.

"I'm obsessed with pooping my pants while watching the Jeffersons."