The Epic of Cruise - Original Story
Story by Jan, dedicated to one and the only:
Sing, O goddess, the anger of Cruise son of God, that brought countless ills upon the Wretched. His blazing Wrath engraved upon the tombstones of the Ill and Devious. What would Life come down to Being, were it not for the everlasting guidance of Cruise.
Sing, O heavens, the picture of Beauty that is Cruise, sing from the top of your lungs, sing for love and guidance, sing until all becomes One, and Cruise ascends to the Altar of Epica.
Sing, O people, with your voices trembling before his Incarnation, all eyes fixed upon the frame of the Savior, the Blessed, the Awakened. Songs in His name are hymns of celebration, their Voice penetrating all of the Earth. His Will is done, His Kingdom is come.
Thus did we pray, and Cruise heard our prayer. He came down furious from the summits of Hollywood, with his shades upon a troubled brow, and the Fury of a thousand men trembling within him. He sat himself down away from the looks of all with a face as dark as night, and his silver smile rang death as he contemplated life amidst such as ourselves. First he smote our mules and our hounds, but presently he aimed his gaze at us, the people, and all day long the pyres of the dead were burning.
"I deem that we should now turn roving home if we would escape destruction, for we are being cut down by war and pestilence at once. The blessing of Cruise is fading, and yet we seek forgiveness for our actions, as the blessing may never be culled."
The people turned to the North, they turned as one, all of their faces caught in a trance. A Voice came from them, a Voice in dire need of help, a Voice left alone to wander the wilderness of life, Cruiseless, guideless. "We sing to you, O creator, O life giver. Thy presence is needed to instill once again the values of God in our Hearts."
Yet Cruise sat, filled with deific Rage, and did Nothing. From his Right eye flowed a single drop, the One Tear, quickly sliding across his perfect skin. It dropped to the ground with the sound of a single Heavenly drum, and disappeared into the very pores of the Earth.
"The blessing of Cruise will be with you once again mortals, but thy penance grows near. Not for millennia will you know peace!"
With these words Cruise stood, the embodiment of all that is Pure, taller than the tallest mountain, wiser than Father Time. He stood and all looked at him in awe, their worthless tears watering the ground, connecting with the One. Screams of agony and betrayal, calls to War on God, a single Emotion of Deicide flowing through the mass of men and women. All hated Cruise for his betrayal. But None understood its purpose.
Seek therapy.
Jan already sought therapy on a few occasions, but all therapists said he was beyond help :P