Storytime: How fear almost cost me my husband

Hey guys, so I'm going back to the beginning. Back to when I first met my now amazing husband.

It all started with an online open chatroom on an anime site. I was chatting along happily with the converstaion as I was deciding on what to watch next when I get a notification. A private message was sent to me. I opened it up and let me just say damn. My hubby was and still is incredibly good looking but I was NOT interested in starting anything with this guy who was clearly out of my league. But since we lived in the same country and where into the same things I thought friends wouldn't hurt.

I had gotten out of a relationship a year prior and honestly I was still hurt feom that. I don't do rebounds and never have so from the start I told my now hubby that all I'm looking for is friendship. Not long after I gave him my personal number so it would be easier to communicate. He was and still is a incredibly good friend. My best friend.

Looking back, that friendship failed the moment he called me to speak to me in person. I didn't admit is to myself though. My husband's voice made me melt. It was almost like his voice sounded like black velvet, soft and hard and really sexy. Infact it was so sexy that the moment he said hi, I hung up the phone. He called back after checking that this time I'd actually speak. I forgot how to speak but managed weird sounds.

He started calling me every day. Just as friends to check up on me, talk about his day and ask about mine. After about two weeks, I suddenly realized with dread that I really liked this guy. I had to end it was my first reaction, and so I tried.

I did it by telling him that I liked him and that we should stop talking because of it. He didn't want to loose a good friend, neither did I so I told him that we could stay friends if what just happened doesn't make things weird or awkward in any way. It did but we tried being friends for 2 weeks before I basically told him that we aren't being good friends anymore, things are awkward and I don't want to continue. He then admitted to liking me aswell but since we lived on opposite sides of the country we knew a relationship wouldn't work. So we tried being friends again, this time it wasn't awkward but more caring and flirty. Before long we started a long distance relationship.

Long distance turned into a normal relationship and that turned into marriage. Looking back it could have easily not worked out as well as it did. Because of my fear I pushed him away and I could have lost him before ever having him.

Don't let fear control your life or your relationships with others, you might regret it.

Xoxo
@thegoldencookie