Well, what did I find in him then ?!

"It all began very long ago, in the" golden childhood ", at the dacha, I guess it was then that I was used to being the target for his wits: for some reason he could not bear me, but he liked me very much." I "quietly" tried to join his company (which, naturally, did not remain a secret to him, since everyone around knew about my love), but in her I was only tolerated and treated in my thirteen years as a small child, although they themselves were older than me for only a year- Two, once, when my friend left and I went to Masha, they nicely "put me up", having done something about my mother's birthday and the next day Masha herself appeared and stated that He was now walking with her and asked me to tell him not to run after him, and in reply I mumbled something awkward, like "I wish you happiness." Then everything stretched, as in a nightmare, I stood in the dark and tried to see their retiring silhouettes, and then sat all day, staring at one point, the only person able to get me out of this depression was my best friend. Tori, thank you for being in my life.

The summer was over, and the next year I was determined to conquer Him by all means. Need I say that nothing happened? I long chose the moment on a noisy birthday to talk to him. I said that I like him, and he spouted some nonsense about the Moscow girl. Of course, this was a lie, otherwise why did he go on a walk with Lenka in a few days? But then I just blushed to the ears, whispered: "I'm sorry" and ran away.

I swear, after this conversation, I never again told him about it, did not even hint. I stayed in that company, I tried to communicate with him, as with a friend. But soon common acquaintances began to tell me that they heard from him that I was running after him, and he would release insulting remarks to me. From his birthday he just kicked me out. I thought that this would be followed by a stream of tears, not inferior to Niagara Falls, a sleepless night, but ... nothing! There was only a feeling of hurt pride. Love disappeared somewhere, dissolved in the August air. And when next summer I looked at him with different eyes, the question arose - what did I find in him then ?! And how could I allow myself to contact me ??? !!! I'm not ugly and not stupid at all, I'm worthy of respect! Now I know myself the price, and I'm all right. But when someone reminds me of this "love", I lower my eyes with shame, although I did not do anything shameful. I hope to meet someone who will appreciate me and deserve my love. My wounds have healed, but sometimes I am doubted by doubts - is there any, mutual love ?!